Curvaceous Dommes and the Comfort Effect

"i wanted share with YOU one phenomena about me that i believe i share with many other subs:
The desired ideal FEMALE figure for worshiping and to be controlled by is totally not the common "most sexy" FEMALE type.
In various magazines the "most sexy" female will be a model in her 20's: tall, slender, perfect smile etc... i [find that] not attractive at all.
 For me, a girl in her 20's cannot be a divine GODDESS. the ideal GODDESS will be in her 30-50's, [with a] strong look and feminine figure.

 i wonder, what are the roots for these different views?"

An excellent observation, and also an excellent question.

I agree with this submissive in that, in my experience, it has been a complaint of most IRL clients that their former Dommes were "strippers with whips" or some other phrase that clearly indicated these women were in great shape, but talentless. Heretofore, I had dismissed it as merely a dig at their talent with implements, but now, I'm reconsidering: could it be that the dig is also aimed at their less than curvaceous bodies? Is this dig also ageist?

It makes sense, as we break down the common goal of a session with a Pro: the client is seeking comfort.
He's seeking sensation and security and hopefully some great recovery time in which a bit of holding is involved; an embrace to keep in his memory as he walks out the door.

I have never encountered a man who wanted me to be thinner. That embrace, that presence, that feeling of security - all have been reinforced by my curves. My breasts, legs, and backside are all soft, curvaceous, and inviting. Dominance does not negate the lush nature of a woman's body, nor should those who are Dommes believe that they have to turn into ice cold bitches in every situation. Let's face it, Dommes and subs, there's a HUGE desire for the MommyDommy experience. And there's NOTHING wrong with that.

MommyDommy, for those who have never heard me use it, is a pseudo-derogatory term that most people use when describing what I call a Comfort Domme, Courtesan Domme, or Sensual Domme. These Dommes don't focus on pain or humiliation, but rather on providing an environment in which they take control, but in an inescapably gentle way. They call the shots, but they also keep their subs in a state of total security.  Control is wielded much like an alpha female mother: with total conviction, a solid plan in place, and with a high degree of physical shows of affection.

If the Domme is quite young (early twenties) and very slim (size 4/under), her physical appearance may not signal that same level of comfort and security as an older (30 -50 yr old) Domme can supply just by walking in the room.
Younger women's appearance may signal to the client's brain:  "uh-oh, too young...she hasn't been doing this very long, so how do I know she'll be any good?"
Even the chance of the Domme not knowing what she's doing can put off many potential clients. No one wants to be Topped by a newb.

I believe many submissive men enjoy a woman who is larger, curvier, and older because they want her to be bigger than their need and wiser than their stress: a Goddess who can rearrange sensation and bodily response in order to create a new subspace for her client.

"What makes Foot Fetish scenes exciting, for You?"

"Madame, I have seen your recent pictures on Twitter, and I adore your feet, especially in heels. Can you please tell me what You think of Foot Fetishism, and if You enjoy it?"

Foot/shoe fetishism, whether gentle foot worship or sadistic gagging with perfectly manicured toes and a long slick heel, is thrilling to me on three levels.

First, I adore the visual of men on their knees, staring down at my feet, looking as subservient and eager as they can.
I love watching their mouths open, their breath come quickly, and their foreheads begin to sweat as I cross and uncross my legs or ankles.
I adore seeing the anticipation overwhelm their minds.
Merely watching a footslut stare at my feet, shod or unshod, could keep me entertained for hours.
I mean that.
The pure excitement, the need, the hunger - it appeals to me on every level.
From a very young age I was enamored of the thought of men kissing my feet and worshipping me in general - the first time a man ever kissed the arch of my foot as I sat at a bar, I nearly burst with excitement.

Second, I find that many men with foot/shoe fetishes are far more cerebral in their kinks.
What I mean by that is, on average, the men who approach me for foot domination and shoe/boot related scenes have specific desires and are willing to share their stories with me.
They want me to understand why they love what they love - and I'm always eager to know their reasons.
Foot worship, and worship of any kind, allows me to get into the ceremony of a session; it allows me to build the atmosphere of charismatic worship and charismatic entrancement; it becomes a pseudo-religious experience because there is such intense structure and focus and total devotion to the idea of the submissive placing himself at my feet and worshipping my feet and the shoes that adorn them.

Third, there are few other fetishes that approach the pure form of submission shown in getting down on the floor and begging merely to kiss the foot of a Domme.
It is erotic to see men physically put themselves beneath me.
It is empowering and affirming for me to see men who are able to embrace their needs in such an overt way.
There is no dissembling; there is no hiding; there is no posturing.
They are beneath me, in every sense of the word, and they love it.


Foot Fetishists, you make this Domme exceedingly happy, and I find your requests incredibly exciting.
Keep them coming!

"Forced Bisexual Activity - Is it an option for Your submissives, as a ProDomme?"

"my question is around forced bi activity. for me the highest level of trust is to do for your MISTRESS thing that you didn't think you will ever do and when you trust her, every barrier is crossed without hesitation. how difficult is to make sub having homosexual activity if he is not naturally BI sexual? is it something YOU will recommend to most Mistress and subs?"

IMPORTANT NOTE: This question is being asked in the context of TPE (total power exchange) in which the submissive male has willingly and with full understanding given a Dominant Female power to choose his sexual partners. There is no sexual abuse, rape, or non-consensual interaction.

So, we're discussing the "forcing of bisexual activity" on a straight sub, as part of instruction in a TPE relationship with his Mistress.

The fluidity of force, such as the kind present in TPE, inherently implies the opposite of force, which is willing consent.
The submissive male has WILLINGLY CONSENTED to give up the right to refuse his Mistress.
He has actively informed her that he wishes to be "forced" to do things outside of his current comfort zone.
This shows a remarkably beautiful level of trust in the Dominant Female to push limits with the utmost responsibility.

The activity described is not a game.
It is not roleplaying.
It is a Dominant Woman ordering a submissive male to engage with another male, sexually.

There are several possible purposes for this activity:

The first being to cement the submissive male's total devotion and trust in his Mistress by placing him in a situation where he must choose either his own desires or those of his Madame. (However, as with any TPE, it is the great irony that the submissive's desire IS to please the Madame, and so he must, naturally, enjoy doing whatever he is told to do, even if the activity is not one he would EVER engage in outside of his servitude to the Mistress.)

The second possible purpose is to create a scene in which a submissive male can have the freedom to explore sexual interaction with another male. So many men have been programmed and conditioned to believe that this type of sexual experimentation is so wrong, so foul, and so indicative of weakness that they require the presence of a Female Dominant to literally give them permission to explore other men.

The third possible purpose is to delve into one of the most extreme forms of sexual humiliation possible, for truly straight submissive men. For those who crave total and abject humiliation, being told to sexually please another man for the enjoyment of their Mistress is the ultimate experience in exploitation and humiliation.

I do not recommend this activity to most Mistresses or Their subs because this is a dynamic that can be realized by only the most intelligent, considerate, aware, and experienced Dommes.
It takes many months (and possibly years) of interaction, in my opinion, to build a D/s relationship to the level of trust at which a truly heterosexual submissive male could safely/sanely be commanded to sexually please another man for the Mistress.

With all safety and consent in place, the potential for pleasure during a ForcedBi scene is off the charts, for all parties involved.
I have enacted such a scene with a long-term submissive and one of his close friends, after weeks of discussion and preparation.
The two men were both interested in each other and both found a huge amount of release in being instructed to touch and be touched. Being given permission was the greatest aphrodisiac, to both of them, and the power I so clearly had over them was mind-blowingly erotic.

I highly encourage anyone considering ForcedBi play to be open, honest, and exploratory in their conversations with their Mistresses/partners.

Go forth, and be Kinky!

"Do You view Forced Male Chastity as an effective FemDom tool?"

"I hope I am not bothering YOU with questions but i wanted to get YOUR view of something that i think will be interesting to all YOUR blog followers.
How do YOU see forced male chastity and is it [an] effective tool for male submission?"

Men are notoriously ruled by their sexual desires, both overt and repressed, and by their inherently manic sex drives.
Chastity teaches men their place by controlling what drives them: their cocks.

There is an overabundance of men who think only with their genitals, thus allowing that mindset to direct their interaction with me:
"Hey sexy, you should spank me."
"Hey cutie, can I lick your boots while you step on my dick?"
"You'd look amazing standing over me while I stroke my cock. Can I worship your sexy body?"

 These demands/requests are banal, pathetic, and in no way arouse my interest to respond.
Rather, they cause me to become icily brutal in my denial of services.

 Forced male chastity affords exquisitely present and constant control over men who must learn the respect necessary to interact with a Dominant Female, and, really, any Female.
They must learn that to be in my service, to be actively seeking my Domination, means to not touch, play with, or please themselves unless expressly told to do so.

They must learn, through chastity, that their pleasure and release now depends solely on their obedience to my will.

To answer your question, yes: forced chastity is a highly effective tool in teaching all men that their cocks must be put at the end of the priority list.
 Cocks will be put in a cage, if necessary, in order for subs to think with their minds and, ultimately, give those minds over to my will.

 For seasoned submissives, I believe routine periods of chastity serve as highly effective reminders that they must not be lax in obedience, nor indulgent in their own pleasure.

 It is my will that must be obeyed.
 It is my determination of pleasure and pain to which they must adhere.