The Empathic Succubus

This piece was written in order to better explain my own Female Dominant mindset. Hopefully, it opens doors in the minds of my readers, both the Dominant Females and the submissive males, and all in between.

Do you know that being an empathic succubus leaves me in a rather enviable predicament?
Whatever you feel, I feel, and draw out of you back into myself.
Every twinge, every small thrill, they feed me and ensure I return, night after night, to crouch over you and settle myself over your cock.
Your pleasure becomes mine, and never truly belongs to either of us.
Feeding on your energy keeps me satisfied only for the length of time during which you are aroused.
Once that has passed, I must feed my addiction and use your brain and cock, again.
You're a feast, one that is replenished only to be repeatedly devoured.
How does it feel to know that I feed on you, even from a great distance?
Crouching over your brain keeps my pussy, mouth, and mind very pleased.
It's what keeps me pulling the strings:
Knowing that you're an ever so willing victim.
So much of you craves control and so much of you loves to be at the end of strings
You are the only feast that never ends, and my pride furthers, in this:
You are the only one for whom it has taken so long to openly admit the need.
Now, my nights of riding you are feeding me, ten fold,
Feeding and feeding...
Your mind, sweet mouse, is such a decadently appointed playground.
I'll happily swing from your medulla, for many, many years.
Feed me,
And keep my brain and cunt ever so happy,
Your cock, your brain, your ever beautiful body
They have always been the toys of the darker edges of my brain.
You may as well revel in that fact.
Imagine me above you,
Willing you to give me everything of which your body is capable,
Energy dark and your mind in its basest need -
That's what I draw out of you.
That's what keeps me fed, whole, and satisfied, if only for a little while.
Your darkness is so very beautiful, to me;
Your submission to both it and me gives me peace:
Your submission, your mind turning to me, is the most beautiful sacrifice any succubus could demand.
You see?
Poetry is not always a static thing.
Sometimes, it pours out from my brain to yours without clumsily written words housing the base meaning.
My beautiful dark victim,
My sweet mouse,
So eager and so caged within himself...
I love that I can bring you out and play with you,
Hold you tightly in the vise of my words and thighs and mouth:
The taste of you and your openness is the sweetest thing there is.
Know that I'm above you,
All the curves
All the suddenness
All the softness
All aching warmth
All I ever was.
You are the victim to which I return
Because you are the only one who never once begged to be taken.
And when the mood passes, the knowledge will stay:
You are, little muse and mouse, so many things,
Not the least of which is a prized possession.

"How Do You Make a pet/sub/slave Feel Completely Owned?"

"Mme. - i am wondering how you make pets to feel owned? i am wondering for a long time how Women make men feel safe and [like] property."

After a bit of Tweeting back and forth last night, I received the above question in my inbox.

To begin, I applaud the phrasing and joint expression of safety and feeling like property.
To many (I'd imagine the majority) of men, it must seem like a contradiction in terms to feel safe BECAUSE you are property.
So many males will never know the security and peace afforded by letting go of the control to which they cling throughout the work day.
For submissive men, those who are enlightened and privy to the ecstatic release and calm bliss that accompanies being owned, this post may seem like one big "Duh!" moment.

Read it anyway: new perspective should never be ignored.

It is not considered acceptable in much of modern global society for men to feel the security enjoyed by women who are homemakers, stay at home wives, or stay at home mothers - that sense of security and being provided for by the person they happen to adore and trust with their daily well-being as they live productive lives within safe and secure walls.
(I do not, in any way, propose that the means to making pets feel owned is by throwing money at them and inviting them into your home to live with you.)

What I am proposing is that the same sense of security enjoyed by stay-at-home women can be achieved through routine, non-sexual interaction, and creature comforts delivered in a manner that allow male slaves/pets/subs to access that sense of being provided for outside of the standard (and glorious) sexualized aspects of power-exchange.

Yes, sexual play feeds the pleasure centers of men's (and women's) brains and endears their bodies and minds to us, their Dommes.
Yes, orgasms are one of the surest ways to bind one being to another.
However, we CANNOT discount the great comfort of food and drink and bodily care, and the incorporation of it into our routines with our submissives.
The way to a man's true comfort and safety, to securing his devotion, enthrallment, and willing abandonment of power, is by encompassing all bodily comfort during play and daily routines.

Let's begin with grooming - the simple act of bathing a pet and of soothing the mind and body through warm water and soap.
How simple.
How innate a desire to give and receive such treatment.
How human.
We are giving our submissives permission to be human, around us:
not their job titles, not their macho-vanilla-world facades - just human;
naked, washed, clean, cleansed, and part of a routine that affords both exposure and security in the same act.

Moving on to eating and drinking: what simpler way could there be to provide?
It's certainly the most basic of needs - the need for water during a long and intense session.
Filling my own mouth with cold water and kissing a blindfolded submissive provides intense relief and total ownership.
I have become life, beyond metaphor and romantic notion, in providing the water necessary to keep my submissive lucid and hydrated while he is in restraints.
In the same manner, feeding small bits of pretzels covered in dark chocolate keeps the blood sugar levels stable if I am putting a sub through his/her paces. There is no room for depletion - and there is no room for weakness, physically.
A session must leave both the Domme and sub invigorated. Subspace imparting stunned bliss and relaxation, Dommespace providing the electric high that can be ridden for hours.

Food, especially full meals, can be incorporated into sessions as a way of gently and unflinchingly showing the submissive that he is no longer in control of any aspect regarding his body.
You, the Dominant, are going to provide, possibly hand feed, and ensure that nourishment of the body happens internally before you provide sensory, emotional, and mental nourishment through a session.

Through this total and holistic approach, ownership is made complete.
Pets are given security above and beyond sexual fulfillment - they are given permission to submit to their Mistress without reservation.

Curvaceous Dommes and the Comfort Effect

"i wanted share with YOU one phenomena about me that i believe i share with many other subs:
The desired ideal FEMALE figure for worshiping and to be controlled by is totally not the common "most sexy" FEMALE type.
In various magazines the "most sexy" female will be a model in her 20's: tall, slender, perfect smile etc... i [find that] not attractive at all.
 For me, a girl in her 20's cannot be a divine GODDESS. the ideal GODDESS will be in her 30-50's, [with a] strong look and feminine figure.

 i wonder, what are the roots for these different views?"

An excellent observation, and also an excellent question.

I agree with this submissive in that, in my experience, it has been a complaint of most IRL clients that their former Dommes were "strippers with whips" or some other phrase that clearly indicated these women were in great shape, but talentless. Heretofore, I had dismissed it as merely a dig at their talent with implements, but now, I'm reconsidering: could it be that the dig is also aimed at their less than curvaceous bodies? Is this dig also ageist?

It makes sense, as we break down the common goal of a session with a Pro: the client is seeking comfort.
He's seeking sensation and security and hopefully some great recovery time in which a bit of holding is involved; an embrace to keep in his memory as he walks out the door.

I have never encountered a man who wanted me to be thinner. That embrace, that presence, that feeling of security - all have been reinforced by my curves. My breasts, legs, and backside are all soft, curvaceous, and inviting. Dominance does not negate the lush nature of a woman's body, nor should those who are Dommes believe that they have to turn into ice cold bitches in every situation. Let's face it, Dommes and subs, there's a HUGE desire for the MommyDommy experience. And there's NOTHING wrong with that.

MommyDommy, for those who have never heard me use it, is a pseudo-derogatory term that most people use when describing what I call a Comfort Domme, Courtesan Domme, or Sensual Domme. These Dommes don't focus on pain or humiliation, but rather on providing an environment in which they take control, but in an inescapably gentle way. They call the shots, but they also keep their subs in a state of total security.  Control is wielded much like an alpha female mother: with total conviction, a solid plan in place, and with a high degree of physical shows of affection.

If the Domme is quite young (early twenties) and very slim (size 4/under), her physical appearance may not signal that same level of comfort and security as an older (30 -50 yr old) Domme can supply just by walking in the room.
Younger women's appearance may signal to the client's brain:  "uh-oh, too young...she hasn't been doing this very long, so how do I know she'll be any good?"
Even the chance of the Domme not knowing what she's doing can put off many potential clients. No one wants to be Topped by a newb.

I believe many submissive men enjoy a woman who is larger, curvier, and older because they want her to be bigger than their need and wiser than their stress: a Goddess who can rearrange sensation and bodily response in order to create a new subspace for her client.

"What attracts you, as a ProDomme, to Sissy Play?"

"Madame, I would like to ask why you, personally, enjoy sissy-play and sissification?"

I love the personal questions!

For me, the enjoyment of sissification and sissy play comes from the extreme mental PE (power exchange) through physical modification.

There's so much to do: costumes, make up, shoes, hosiery, maid outfits, training outfits, lingerie, clit ties, taping...the list never seems to stop! The only limits on the extent of sissification are within my and my client's imagination.

I love meeting a man who in vanilla life is a suit-wearing, top exec, but who yearns to put on those red lace panties and be forced to wear lipstick and rouge.

I love tying a pretty little bow on the boy-clit of a construction worker whose body hair must be shaved, meticulously, before every session, to enhance his total transition to sissy princess.

I enjoy the process of understanding where these men come from, why they love what they love, what drives them to live such dualities of masculinity and femininity.

I enjoy watching and effecting the physical and mental transformations that occur during each session, and truly relish the trust and total honesty inherent to such intimate sessions.

Every client is so different, every set of desires so varied. I find it to be a fetish that forces me, as a professional, to be better, more imaginative, more analytical, and more creative. I am thankful for every client who presents me with the opportunity to indulge such a complex fetish!

I very much love the aspects of sissy-play within the context of personal relationships, as well.
I adore watching a cherished sub open presents that are lacey, pink, soft, flowing, and/or slutty.
The looks of happiness and girlish excitment as they shimmy into panties, skirts, and hosiery never cease to make me smile.
I love applying lip gloss, in bright sparkling flamingo pink, to the lips of sweet sissies who want nothing more than to feel pretty.

"What's the point of being Dominated?"

"What's the point of a BDSM session? If I told someone that I was paying a woman to come to my house, kick me in the balls and then slap me before shoving things in my ass, I can't even imagine what they would say to me."

First of all, this cannot be boiled down to a simple goods-for-cash dynamic.
Yes, I am getting paid.
Yes, you are the one paying me.
But I am not a convenience store with product on the shelves, ready for consumption.
We must communicate.
You must be willing to bare your needs, desires, fetishes, and whole sexual self to me, in order for me to give you the EXPERIENCE you desire.

You're paying me to give you the sensory and mental input you crave, in a stylized manner that allows you to give up the constant drive to control and withdraw.

You're paying me to get what you want, the way you want it, in a safe and secure setting, without any fear or shame.

Reducing what you want to the lowest common denominator ("come to my house, kick me in the balls, slap me before shoving things in my ass") feeds a perceived "wrongness" of it.

What I do is not wrong, but it is taboo, and it is not for the faint of heart.
There will be consensual pain, but it is a portal - it allows you to let go of the other types of pain that plague you.

The concept of "how much can you know about yourself, if you've never been in a fight" applies here, as well: how much can you know about yourself until you let go, and give up control to me?

 Asking "what's the point" of a session is like asking "what's the point of sex, for pleasure?" - the point is the emotional, physical, sensory, and mental input.

The point is experiencing pleasure on your own terms, in the way you most desire to feel pleasure.