The Empathic Succubus

This piece was written in order to better explain my own Female Dominant mindset. Hopefully, it opens doors in the minds of my readers, both the Dominant Females and the submissive males, and all in between.

Do you know that being an empathic succubus leaves me in a rather enviable predicament?
Whatever you feel, I feel, and draw out of you back into myself.
Every twinge, every small thrill, they feed me and ensure I return, night after night, to crouch over you and settle myself over your cock.
Your pleasure becomes mine, and never truly belongs to either of us.
Feeding on your energy keeps me satisfied only for the length of time during which you are aroused.
Once that has passed, I must feed my addiction and use your brain and cock, again.
You're a feast, one that is replenished only to be repeatedly devoured.
How does it feel to know that I feed on you, even from a great distance?
Crouching over your brain keeps my pussy, mouth, and mind very pleased.
It's what keeps me pulling the strings:
Knowing that you're an ever so willing victim.
So much of you craves control and so much of you loves to be at the end of strings
You are the only feast that never ends, and my pride furthers, in this:
You are the only one for whom it has taken so long to openly admit the need.
Now, my nights of riding you are feeding me, ten fold,
Feeding and feeding...
Your mind, sweet mouse, is such a decadently appointed playground.
I'll happily swing from your medulla, for many, many years.
Feed me,
And keep my brain and cunt ever so happy,
Your cock, your brain, your ever beautiful body
They have always been the toys of the darker edges of my brain.
You may as well revel in that fact.
Imagine me above you,
Willing you to give me everything of which your body is capable,
Energy dark and your mind in its basest need -
That's what I draw out of you.
That's what keeps me fed, whole, and satisfied, if only for a little while.
Your darkness is so very beautiful, to me;
Your submission to both it and me gives me peace:
Your submission, your mind turning to me, is the most beautiful sacrifice any succubus could demand.
You see?
Poetry is not always a static thing.
Sometimes, it pours out from my brain to yours without clumsily written words housing the base meaning.
My beautiful dark victim,
My sweet mouse,
So eager and so caged within himself...
I love that I can bring you out and play with you,
Hold you tightly in the vise of my words and thighs and mouth:
The taste of you and your openness is the sweetest thing there is.
Know that I'm above you,
All the curves
All the suddenness
All the softness
All aching warmth
All I ever was.
You are the victim to which I return
Because you are the only one who never once begged to be taken.
And when the mood passes, the knowledge will stay:
You are, little muse and mouse, so many things,
Not the least of which is a prized possession.

Being a Beginner Domme: Protection of Self and Establishing Boundaries

To the ladies who have just begun their journey into the FemDom role of Domina, Dominatrix, Madame or Mistress - I salute you.
You have decided to explore the aspects of your personality that feed into Control, Protection, Leadership, Imagination, Creativity, and the Administration of Skill.

A bunch of words, no?
A damn big bunch of words.

What does it all mean?
Where do you start?
How do you become the Uber-Domme of your, his, her, and that other person's dreams?

You start by not trying to become another person's dream.
Plain and simple, you have to WANT to cultivate your Dominant traits for you and not for someone else.

If a man or woman has come to you and asked you to be "my Domme" then they have started with a fatal flaw - asking you to do something for them, rather than asking what they can do for you.

The first lesson a beginner Domme must learn is to not become an on-call service for those who will use up or waste your time, talent, and effort.

I know this may seem counterintuitive to the image of the all-powerful slightly (or not so slightly) demanding Head Bitch In Charge, but many Dominas are what they are because they have an overwhelming desire to protect, heal, and give.

Those traits are often exploited by the insensitive, coercive, and overly-needy subs who have been in the game long enough to sniff out a woman who will give them what they want, but who will not expect them to give in return.

Always, always, always remember that you do not OWE a submissive anything simply because he has asked to "worship you, Goddess, because you are so perfect and I want so badly to be Dominated by you!"

See what happened there? That thought of worship didn't end with an offer of actual tribute, service, or worship. It ended with the submissive's desire.

Odd. Very odd. And downright counterintuitive to the way a submissive should approach a Dominant.

A Woman in Power should be brought tribute, compliment, sincerity, and supplication; she should NOT be presented with selfish demands sugar coated in flattery.

Keep your boundaries, and keep your self esteem, intact.
There is nothing powerful about a Domina who is topped from the bottom by a submissive who takes without giving.

I've discussed the all-giving dynamic before on this blog, but for you who are beginning your journey into the Power of a FemDom centered interaction or relationship, it bears repeating.

The only way this type of relationship will work, truly, is through massive amounts of communication from BOTH parties. It will only work if both people but the OTHER person first.

You cannot be a Dominant without being a caregiver.
You cannot be a submissive without being a servant.

When we examine those two titles, they are one in the same.
The Dominant serves the needs of the submissive, just as the submissive should care for the needs of the Dominant.

There is no way around the necessity of mutual giving.

To you, new Dommes, I say this: only interact with those men who understand that in order to be worthy of your time, they must prove that worth through service and a keen ability to care for your needs; otherwise, they have no business receiving the beautiful Control that you, as a Dominant Woman, can give them.

Alpha Males, Beta Males, and Submissive Males: Why Submission Falls Outside Male Hierarchy

A dear friend and fellow Domme wrote a blog post on FLRs (Female Led Relationships), and it sparked a conversation dealing with the terms Alpha and Beta, and how they are applied when men are in submissive roles. Here are a few thoughts that developed from my consideration of that conversation.

If an Alpha male craves participation in an FLR, it does not inherently then make him a Beta male. On the contrary, it is misrepresentative to use this term for a number of reasons:

1) An Alpha male is a leader amongst his peers. Those peers are men, in this terminology. He is the male to whom the other males defer, and who leads the "pack" at work, socially, and who is most likely the eldest or most capable male in a household growing up.

2) Being a submissive male in the bedroom, in an FLR, or in a full-on BDSM lifestyle does not negate the Alpha status of a male in the workplace and in vanilla social situations. Alpha males are alpha males, and that part of their personality is not extinguished simply because they also are desirous of submitting to a Dominant Female. To the Female, the Alpha male is certainly subordinate, but that power dynamic is outside the Alpha/Beta/Omega male hierarchy.

3) A Beta male is not a leader. He is a provider, yes, but not the head of the pack or a natural leader. Many Beta males are attractive to females, but they are not to be confused with Alphas, just as the term Beta can never be a synonym for submissive. True, many Beta males may seem "sub" to the vanilla world, but I can say with reasonable assurance that the socially Beta male seeks out submissive women so that he can have his own balance of power in the bedroom v. the workplace. And more power to him and the women who may find that to be a stellar situation.

In my opinion, Alpha males make up the largest percentage of submissive men. I'm talking about the true submissives who seek shelter in the presence of their Dominant female partners and who seek balance in knowing that once they are in that presence they are no longer in control.

Lawyers, brokers, CEOs, professional athletes, clergy, managers, business owners, and law enforcement officers are a few prime examples of the type of men who seek out Dominant women. Notice a pattern? Power, control, responsibility for others, leadership, and certainly massive amounts of pressure. There has to be a release of that pressure or, like any physicist will tell you, explosion is imminent. So, how to do it?

The answer is: Find someone who is your mental equal but who is not your peer to take over that pressure, responsibility, and leadership for whatever span of time will work for you. It could be an FLR, it could be an hour long Domme session. The result is always similar: a restoration of mental balance and relief from the weight that Alpha status puts on male shoulders.

It is far from simple for men in power to act on the need for release. They have built lives on being in control, possibly businesses and families on the same principle. They cannot be expected to simply flip and switch and suddenly feel the joy of submitting.

This is where so many men run up against the walls of their own success and status, and where it can be so very challenging, even for the most willing sub/seasoned Domme, to find a way to get an Alpha to embrace his submissive needs. (The preconceived notion that submitting might somehow "lessen" an Alpha in the male world is a common fear; that he will become Beta if he submits to a female. The logic for this is shoddy, at best, as we have already discussed the male-centric nature of the term.)

Safety and respect are paramount in bringing an Alpha male into a D/s relationship with a Dominant female. He must be made to feel secure and protected, but also respected as the "man that he is." I do not say this snarkily, but merely to emphasize that to make the transition, men must be assured that they are still Alpha males, even when on their knees...but not in charge when under command of a Mistress.

That is the great transition with which so many men struggle, especially those who transition from being in the lead at work, calling every shot, then coming home to their beloved Dommes and feeling, sometimes, that they must "flip a switch." Like any Alpha, there is probably a bit of the perfectionist driving them to immediately be the personification of submission when they come home, but it is a difficult switch to flip after a long day of being in control. You get on a roll, as it were, and to be taken out of that can be jarring.

This is why, dear Dommes/Dominants, it is paramount to always remind your submissive Alphas that they are no longer in the spotlight when they come home or enter your dungeon - it is time for them to let all of the pressure go, and simply listen.

Don't think,
don't stress,
don't do anything but follow Our lead.
Don't put yourself in Alpha mode,
it will be there when we're done.
Here, on your knees,
you need only submit.