Training for Sissies - Discipline A Must!

Hello dear readers!

Today's post centers on a subject that is both fraught with nuance and rife with controversy - the proper way to keep a Sissy-in-Training in check.

(Alright, so there aren't THAT many folks up in arms over the proper technique for keeping our prissy little girlie-boys in line, but I've been privy to a few hot debates over the past two weeks, and I wanted to weigh in on where I draw the line during sissy training!)

To start, I will stress that, even when administering discipline, it is never ideal to be so harsh as to squelch a sissy's enthusiasm. After all, what makes sissies so appealing (at least, to My mind) is their incredibly sexualized drive to please. That being said, every eager sissy needs some molding to become the perfect suck-and-fuck toy for his Mistress.

Keep him reminded of his place: a pretty boy will find it easy to get caught up in his own new-found "pretty" status as he sees the way skirts, tights, high heels, dresses, and lingerie look on his well-toned body. Do not allow vanity to creep into your sissy's mind to such a degree that he becomes conceited. A sissy should take pride in what his OWNER thinks of him, not in what he thinks of himself.

Always keep your sissy aware that he has room to improve. It may be in his physical appearance, it may be in his ability to walk in those new four inch heels, or it may even be in his vocal pitch and volume. No sissy is ever a perfect sissy - and no sissy should ever feel bored, unchallenged, or as if he has no more to learn! Keep them humble to keep them happy and hungry for more training!

Keep him locked up. Chastity is key (pun absolutely intended) to reminding a sissy boy that his cock is no longer the central piece of his appeal, sexuality, or bodily awareness. Instead, by keeping him caged, you remind him that he must focus on keeping every other piece of himself up to standard: shaved, tweezed, and ready to be exposed at ANY moment.

The ideal sissy should be ready for service at all times, and must never EVER bring embarrassment to his Mistress by having stray hairs, scruff, or stubble interfere with his feminine appearance. Failure to maintain proper sissy-hygiene will result in denial of sissy dress, play, and recognition from the Mistress.

Remember, Owners: the greatest act of discipline for a sissy is to be stripped of his sissy identity. When a girlie-boy misbehaves, slacks off, or otherwise disappoints his Mistress, he has forfeited the privilege of being Her sissy, and all the trappings that come with that distinction.

It is not the right of a sissy boy to be dressed, caged, exhibited, or shared for use and abuse. As Mistresses, we hold the power to fulfill or deny the fantasies, desires, and deeply-rooted needs of sissy-boys - we must ensure that each one who enjoys Our control has, first, earned the privilege to enjoy that control.

Heath's Training: High Impact Play, Biting, and Marking

This installment of the account of Heath's training concerns high impact play: marking activities such as biting, clawing, and, of course, striking with various implements. No one should engage in the following activities without training, consent, and full awareness from both parties of the risks involved.

With that being said, let's get to the good stuff!

The Good Stuff

Above are the implements for Heath's preliminary high-impact session. The goal of this play session was to introduce him to the heavier hitters in a time frame devoted solely to his body being marked by implements, fingernails, and teeth. The goal was to turn his skin into a canvas and to see where his initial pain thresholds lay. It turns out, those thresholds are quite high. :-)

As you can see, his ass was warmed quite thoroughly. Pictured is his first taste of a paddle, which he found visually intimidating. He soon discovered that just because an implement looks menacing doesn't mean it can't be used with varying degrees of speed and force. He also felt the sting of the cane across his backside and loved the percussive and rhythmic nature that can be achieved during its use. (Yes, his ass makes a great set of drums.)

You can also see the nail marks that were used to give him some feminine curvature lines along his back. Short natural nails always make the best marks due to being the sharpest and most easily controlled type of fingernail. 

Not pictured are the teeth marks that adorned the front of his body, over 30 in total, symmetrically placed along his ribcage, across his chest, and on his hips and thighs. 

I find that biting is the most intimate and loving of pain delivery methods as it combines the lushness of the Domme's mouth with the severe sharpness of her teeth.

Pictured to the left are the implements used for Heath's follow up High Impact training session. You can see the Big Momma Flogger, paddle, mini flogger, mini slapper, and pinwheel. While only the BMF was added to the already used lineup, the intensity of use for all implements was increased, as was time devoted to the use of each implement.

The BMF is my personal favorite of all my toys, and it delivers quite the thud when used at close range. When used at medium range, the ends deliver hundreds of stings.

 Heath's shoulders, back, and bottom are nicely reddened after a few rounds of the floggers, paddle, and slapper. All implements were used on his back and ass, and changing the implements mid hit certainly caused a great deal of sensory confusion/sensory overload.

I highly recommend lots of pace and implement change-ups to keep the submissive alert and totally immersed at once, but only to those Dommes who are completely comfortable and adept in using and changing implements quickly. 

Here he is, again, in the same pose, but being used as human furniture. I love to give a short break or two during which I balance and/or drape implements over the submissive. 

This practice not only allows their bodies and minds a short space in which to breathe/settle, but it also forces them to still perform while at rest - Heath knows that he must not allow the implements to move or fall from his body.

He is also demonstrating excellent form in keeping his supplicant posture with head down, hands clasped, and feet together. He has made himself totally accessible without spreading his body all over the bed, thus making it far more convenient for me to strike from all angles without moving all around the bed and room.

At the end of the High Impact session, he was left with bite marks, flogger/slapper marks, and a very relaxed body. The most wonderful aspect, for me, of sessions in which the sub's body is worked over is this: the total relaxation that is achieved through sending their bodies and minds into subspace through constant, varied, and delicious pain.

Ask-a-Domme: "Is it ethical to treat Domination like a job?"

"...most females that are taking part of the BDSM scene are treating it like a job, making money out of it and "play[ing]" [as] needed in order to maximize profits. It's not that i reject their right to gain money out of it, (on the contrary, i think that males should finance the LADIES and work hard for it), but it should not be the main and only purpose. if it comes as part of controlling all the males privileges, it make sense. same way i see spanking and canning. if it just for enjoying the pain, it is not about female domination - it's about [a] male having some type of sexual release. [However,] if the FEMALE is using pain to demonstrate her ruling or to modify the male behaviour it [is] accepted and even necessary. in principle i embrace every activity that comes as part of giving/taking full control by the sub/MISTRESS although i don't like them all but this is not important in the big picture of total submission.

YOUR thoughts?"

Note: The lower case i is not a repeated mistake but a personal preference of this individual in expressing his submission, mentally, to me and all women. This also accounts for the caps used for the words ladies, female, mistress, and your. 

 Re: spanking/caning/flogging for purposes other than discipline: I know, first hand, the release that can come from such an intense physical experience as part of a session and also the value of this activity in foreplay, so I cannot discount the value of these activities unto themselves. However, I despise solicitation by submissives who only want to be serviced in this way and who do not engage with their Dominants on a cerebral level. If you want pain, release, subspace, catharsis, and to receive all of these things at the hand of a Dominant woman, then don't play at submission - actually submit. I do not condone the practice of men showing up at a dungeon, paying for twenty minutes of spanking with a total stranger, and then leaving. There must be mental understanding and mindfulness of what is occurring and why it is occurring.

 Re: making money as a Domme - I believe that it is accurate to say that most "pro Dominatrix" workers are not trained and do not have the mental capacity to be true/effective Dominants. I see and hear horrible examples of men who sought out a Dominant woman, professionally, and had damaging experiences because the "Dominants" were corseted women with whips who had no formal training in the activities in which they engaged.

 I view what I do as therapeutic, when I physically do sessions with clients. I perform exhaustive intake interviews before ever playing with anyone. I do not cater to men, as this is neither sound professional practice nor contextually sensible. If/when men attempt to order activities like ordering from a menu, I correct them or end the communication. It is my mission to help men, women, and couples understand the benefits of FemDom and the D/s lifestyle in a manner that is built on ethical and intelligent introspection and play.

 I have chosen this as my profession because I believe that the best way for me to provide for my family in a loving and productive way is through doing what I truly love in a way that brings positive change to the world. My husband and I both work, and we do so because we are both intelligent human beings with much to offer the world by way of sharing our talents. This does not mean that I am any less a Domme because I work and provide, and while I can understand your view of wanting males to provide for women, I believe ultimately that the choice to work is the woman's to make.

Who's Got the Power?: Power Exchange and Mutual Responsibility

Power exchange is defined as a relationship or activity in which the submissive gives the dominant partner power and authority over the submissive's body in exchange for the submissive's obedience, thereby instilling happiness and mental peace for both parties through defined roles during play.

Power and authority must be willingly instilled/bestowed from one person to another.
The power is not taken, it is not forcibly turned into powerlessness.
It is willfully, actively, and consciously given to another person.

The caveat being, of course, that it can be taken back with a single utterance of the safeword.
Only the submissive can decide, with finality, her/his limits.
Those limits can be tested with consent, but never without it.

The interpersonal power of the Dominant relies upon the willingness of the submissive, but the great inherent power of the Dominant resides in her/his will and self control.

As a Domme, I strive for ultimate control over my own actions during a scene.
Do I allow passion to color my decisions?
Yes - I would stagnate otherwise.
But using passion is vastly different than being consumed by passion.
Being consumed is for the submissive - consumed by pleasure, by pain, by subspace.

There is mutual power, in the D/s exchange - it can never be forgotten that being on one's knees NEVER negates one's boundaries, or that the gift of Dominance should ever be flippantly accepted.

Too often I am privvy to stories of interactions in which a Dominant had no regard/respect for the desires of the submissive.
Alternatively, there is no lack of stories during which submissives attempt to top from the bottom and became frustrated when they were asked to truly submit or seek another partner.

It is a decision to give up power, and it is a heavy responsibility to accept that power.
When handled openly, honestly, and with mindfulness, the exchange can be complete, giving the much needed release and control desired by the submissive and Dominant.