Heath's Training: High Impact Play, Biting, and Marking

This installment of the account of Heath's training concerns high impact play: marking activities such as biting, clawing, and, of course, striking with various implements. No one should engage in the following activities without training, consent, and full awareness from both parties of the risks involved.

With that being said, let's get to the good stuff!

The Good Stuff

Above are the implements for Heath's preliminary high-impact session. The goal of this play session was to introduce him to the heavier hitters in a time frame devoted solely to his body being marked by implements, fingernails, and teeth. The goal was to turn his skin into a canvas and to see where his initial pain thresholds lay. It turns out, those thresholds are quite high. :-)

As you can see, his ass was warmed quite thoroughly. Pictured is his first taste of a paddle, which he found visually intimidating. He soon discovered that just because an implement looks menacing doesn't mean it can't be used with varying degrees of speed and force. He also felt the sting of the cane across his backside and loved the percussive and rhythmic nature that can be achieved during its use. (Yes, his ass makes a great set of drums.)

You can also see the nail marks that were used to give him some feminine curvature lines along his back. Short natural nails always make the best marks due to being the sharpest and most easily controlled type of fingernail. 

Not pictured are the teeth marks that adorned the front of his body, over 30 in total, symmetrically placed along his ribcage, across his chest, and on his hips and thighs. 

I find that biting is the most intimate and loving of pain delivery methods as it combines the lushness of the Domme's mouth with the severe sharpness of her teeth.

Pictured to the left are the implements used for Heath's follow up High Impact training session. You can see the Big Momma Flogger, paddle, mini flogger, mini slapper, and pinwheel. While only the BMF was added to the already used lineup, the intensity of use for all implements was increased, as was time devoted to the use of each implement.

The BMF is my personal favorite of all my toys, and it delivers quite the thud when used at close range. When used at medium range, the ends deliver hundreds of stings.

 Heath's shoulders, back, and bottom are nicely reddened after a few rounds of the floggers, paddle, and slapper. All implements were used on his back and ass, and changing the implements mid hit certainly caused a great deal of sensory confusion/sensory overload.

I highly recommend lots of pace and implement change-ups to keep the submissive alert and totally immersed at once, but only to those Dommes who are completely comfortable and adept in using and changing implements quickly. 

Here he is, again, in the same pose, but being used as human furniture. I love to give a short break or two during which I balance and/or drape implements over the submissive. 

This practice not only allows their bodies and minds a short space in which to breathe/settle, but it also forces them to still perform while at rest - Heath knows that he must not allow the implements to move or fall from his body.

He is also demonstrating excellent form in keeping his supplicant posture with head down, hands clasped, and feet together. He has made himself totally accessible without spreading his body all over the bed, thus making it far more convenient for me to strike from all angles without moving all around the bed and room.

At the end of the High Impact session, he was left with bite marks, flogger/slapper marks, and a very relaxed body. The most wonderful aspect, for me, of sessions in which the sub's body is worked over is this: the total relaxation that is achieved through sending their bodies and minds into subspace through constant, varied, and delicious pain.

Dommes, We Get What We Give

I've read quite a bit about Dommes who are angered by men who are timewasters and losers, due to the fact that they do not instantly bow down, lick shiny patent leather toed pumps, open up the wallet, or do similar instant shows of submission.

I cannot help but roll my eyes.

Ladies, let us remember: We get what We give.

If we expect men to throw cash at us without so much as a mutual understanding of needs/desires/wants/expectations, then how in fuck-all are we better than the subs who email and immediately start the 40 questions routine?

If we demand to be worshipped before rapport is established with a would-be worshipper, then we are no better than the subs who try to top from the bottom and want Our time on their terms.

We've all shut down the fucktards who are demanding and who show no respect.

What, then, should we do when we, or Dommes we know, suddenly find ourselves demanding things that we have no right to demand?
We have to call a spade a spade and shut THAT type of behavior down.

When submissives are asked to pay to converse/establish rapport, then the submissive immediately feels used.
Demands for money without an established understanding of each other's wants/needs is just as disingenuous as a submissive who is all talk/a time waster.
And, let me clarify the term "used."

There is being used in play, in a consenting environment, and there is being used in real life in an unethical way by a Domme who is not holding up her end of the interaction.

Like it or not, would-be-Dominants, nothing comes for free.

To do FinDom, or any aspect of FemDom correctly, you need to actually BE a Dominant, and that means doing the work. Submission should NEVER happen instantaneously.

Domination should NEVER be presumed, just because you have Domme/Mistress/Madame/Goddess in front of your screen name.

If you expect instant gratification, I've got a news flash: you're in the wrong business/lifestyle.

Until you realize that you give what you get, you'll continue to give/get at the lowest common denominator.

We are better than that.
Let's act like we know it.

Shoe and Foot Fetishism as the Expression of Female Power: A Presentation of Images and Words

The female legs: a pairing of two strong, soft, supple, well-muscled engines of desire and control, 

both in and out of bed.

 The female foot, shod in shining elegance. 

The shoe becomes a beautiful instrument of destruction.

Flexion, definition, and pure strength. 

Beauty lives in the ability to move, stretch, and remain still.

A tease, a glimpse, the promise of the shoe being completely removed, the foot being exposed - 

and then, what else will become uncovered and, ultimately, known?

The foot is the foundation of the beautiful structure that rests upon it. 

The shoe must be worthy of holding such an integral and beautiful piece of the anatomy. 

They must look, together, as though they are one in the same.

Looking up at a woman, 

from her perfectly pedicured feet, 

is to behold her from an all-encompassing vantage point. 

You are permitted to gaze at, then past, her toes, 

all the way to her hair, 

and to appreciate everything in between the two extremes

.

To be beneath, to be made small, to be made low, and to be stripped of power:  

that is what it means to be at the feet of a Domme, a Goddess, a Mistress, or a Madame.

My joy is your submission.

My bliss is your acceptance.

Whore Enhancement through Chastity

I can think of no better way to control and enhance a whore and his/her natural disposition than to put him/her in chastity.

Consider the nature of a whore: sexual, needful, lustful, ever eager for more cock, more attention, and more input.
What better way to control a mind than to control its access to what it craves?

When too much sex is enjoyed by anyone, especially a whore, all sex becomes boring.
This type of tragedy must NOT be allowed to transpire, especially when a beloved whore, preferred pet, or promising sub is concerned.
Teach them the value of having to wait.
Teach their bodies the joy of delayed gratification.

The waiting and the restriction, when properly enforced alongside constant mental attention and engagement, will only whet their appetites and encourage greater obedience in the hope of receiving what they crave.

That constant mental engagement must be comprised of teasing.
Not generic teasing, not sporadic teasing, but focused and specifically tailored torture that will creep beneath the dura mater in the sub's mind and create a blanket of suggestion and titillation.

You have to care enough about your whore to make his mind your constant playground.

This is not a process to attempt by the novice Dominant or by someone who cannot commit a significant amount of attention to their submissive(s)/whore(s).

You will only succeed if you are adept at mind control and providing constant stimulation.

This does not mean you, personally, have to send them five million texts a day or be next to them, whispering in their ear or touching them.
Far from it.
You can do the obvious and put them in a chastity device.
They will feel the cage around them, all day, and fight with the feeling of arousal and inability to become erect.
You can enforce your will and make sure they are never without stimulation with daily assignments, stipulating the wearing of specific undergarments, or even piercing your pet to provide a constant sensory reminder that they are owned.

Hell, go for the gusto and have them wear lace panties over a newly pierced frenum.
I can tell you, it works like a charm: my favorite personal pet is never free of the constant feel of precum in his lacey boxer briefs.

Remember: creativity and consistency are key.
Make chastity the sexual and sensual experience it is meant to be, and your whore will be trained to perform at peak levels.
And they will love you, for it.

"What makes Foot Fetish scenes exciting, for You?"

"Madame, I have seen your recent pictures on Twitter, and I adore your feet, especially in heels. Can you please tell me what You think of Foot Fetishism, and if You enjoy it?"

Foot/shoe fetishism, whether gentle foot worship or sadistic gagging with perfectly manicured toes and a long slick heel, is thrilling to me on three levels.

First, I adore the visual of men on their knees, staring down at my feet, looking as subservient and eager as they can.
I love watching their mouths open, their breath come quickly, and their foreheads begin to sweat as I cross and uncross my legs or ankles.
I adore seeing the anticipation overwhelm their minds.
Merely watching a footslut stare at my feet, shod or unshod, could keep me entertained for hours.
I mean that.
The pure excitement, the need, the hunger - it appeals to me on every level.
From a very young age I was enamored of the thought of men kissing my feet and worshipping me in general - the first time a man ever kissed the arch of my foot as I sat at a bar, I nearly burst with excitement.

Second, I find that many men with foot/shoe fetishes are far more cerebral in their kinks.
What I mean by that is, on average, the men who approach me for foot domination and shoe/boot related scenes have specific desires and are willing to share their stories with me.
They want me to understand why they love what they love - and I'm always eager to know their reasons.
Foot worship, and worship of any kind, allows me to get into the ceremony of a session; it allows me to build the atmosphere of charismatic worship and charismatic entrancement; it becomes a pseudo-religious experience because there is such intense structure and focus and total devotion to the idea of the submissive placing himself at my feet and worshipping my feet and the shoes that adorn them.

Third, there are few other fetishes that approach the pure form of submission shown in getting down on the floor and begging merely to kiss the foot of a Domme.
It is erotic to see men physically put themselves beneath me.
It is empowering and affirming for me to see men who are able to embrace their needs in such an overt way.
There is no dissembling; there is no hiding; there is no posturing.
They are beneath me, in every sense of the word, and they love it.


Foot Fetishists, you make this Domme exceedingly happy, and I find your requests incredibly exciting.
Keep them coming!

"Do You view Forced Male Chastity as an effective FemDom tool?"

"I hope I am not bothering YOU with questions but i wanted to get YOUR view of something that i think will be interesting to all YOUR blog followers.
How do YOU see forced male chastity and is it [an] effective tool for male submission?"

Men are notoriously ruled by their sexual desires, both overt and repressed, and by their inherently manic sex drives.
Chastity teaches men their place by controlling what drives them: their cocks.

There is an overabundance of men who think only with their genitals, thus allowing that mindset to direct their interaction with me:
"Hey sexy, you should spank me."
"Hey cutie, can I lick your boots while you step on my dick?"
"You'd look amazing standing over me while I stroke my cock. Can I worship your sexy body?"

 These demands/requests are banal, pathetic, and in no way arouse my interest to respond.
Rather, they cause me to become icily brutal in my denial of services.

 Forced male chastity affords exquisitely present and constant control over men who must learn the respect necessary to interact with a Dominant Female, and, really, any Female.
They must learn that to be in my service, to be actively seeking my Domination, means to not touch, play with, or please themselves unless expressly told to do so.

They must learn, through chastity, that their pleasure and release now depends solely on their obedience to my will.

To answer your question, yes: forced chastity is a highly effective tool in teaching all men that their cocks must be put at the end of the priority list.
 Cocks will be put in a cage, if necessary, in order for subs to think with their minds and, ultimately, give those minds over to my will.

 For seasoned submissives, I believe routine periods of chastity serve as highly effective reminders that they must not be lax in obedience, nor indulgent in their own pleasure.

 It is my will that must be obeyed.
 It is my determination of pleasure and pain to which they must adhere.

"What attracts you, as a ProDomme, to Sissy Play?"

"Madame, I would like to ask why you, personally, enjoy sissy-play and sissification?"

I love the personal questions!

For me, the enjoyment of sissification and sissy play comes from the extreme mental PE (power exchange) through physical modification.

There's so much to do: costumes, make up, shoes, hosiery, maid outfits, training outfits, lingerie, clit ties, taping...the list never seems to stop! The only limits on the extent of sissification are within my and my client's imagination.

I love meeting a man who in vanilla life is a suit-wearing, top exec, but who yearns to put on those red lace panties and be forced to wear lipstick and rouge.

I love tying a pretty little bow on the boy-clit of a construction worker whose body hair must be shaved, meticulously, before every session, to enhance his total transition to sissy princess.

I enjoy the process of understanding where these men come from, why they love what they love, what drives them to live such dualities of masculinity and femininity.

I enjoy watching and effecting the physical and mental transformations that occur during each session, and truly relish the trust and total honesty inherent to such intimate sessions.

Every client is so different, every set of desires so varied. I find it to be a fetish that forces me, as a professional, to be better, more imaginative, more analytical, and more creative. I am thankful for every client who presents me with the opportunity to indulge such a complex fetish!

I very much love the aspects of sissy-play within the context of personal relationships, as well.
I adore watching a cherished sub open presents that are lacey, pink, soft, flowing, and/or slutty.
The looks of happiness and girlish excitment as they shimmy into panties, skirts, and hosiery never cease to make me smile.
I love applying lip gloss, in bright sparkling flamingo pink, to the lips of sweet sissies who want nothing more than to feel pretty.

Ask-a-Domme: "Is it ethical to treat Domination like a job?"

"...most females that are taking part of the BDSM scene are treating it like a job, making money out of it and "play[ing]" [as] needed in order to maximize profits. It's not that i reject their right to gain money out of it, (on the contrary, i think that males should finance the LADIES and work hard for it), but it should not be the main and only purpose. if it comes as part of controlling all the males privileges, it make sense. same way i see spanking and canning. if it just for enjoying the pain, it is not about female domination - it's about [a] male having some type of sexual release. [However,] if the FEMALE is using pain to demonstrate her ruling or to modify the male behaviour it [is] accepted and even necessary. in principle i embrace every activity that comes as part of giving/taking full control by the sub/MISTRESS although i don't like them all but this is not important in the big picture of total submission.

YOUR thoughts?"

Note: The lower case i is not a repeated mistake but a personal preference of this individual in expressing his submission, mentally, to me and all women. This also accounts for the caps used for the words ladies, female, mistress, and your. 

 Re: spanking/caning/flogging for purposes other than discipline: I know, first hand, the release that can come from such an intense physical experience as part of a session and also the value of this activity in foreplay, so I cannot discount the value of these activities unto themselves. However, I despise solicitation by submissives who only want to be serviced in this way and who do not engage with their Dominants on a cerebral level. If you want pain, release, subspace, catharsis, and to receive all of these things at the hand of a Dominant woman, then don't play at submission - actually submit. I do not condone the practice of men showing up at a dungeon, paying for twenty minutes of spanking with a total stranger, and then leaving. There must be mental understanding and mindfulness of what is occurring and why it is occurring.

 Re: making money as a Domme - I believe that it is accurate to say that most "pro Dominatrix" workers are not trained and do not have the mental capacity to be true/effective Dominants. I see and hear horrible examples of men who sought out a Dominant woman, professionally, and had damaging experiences because the "Dominants" were corseted women with whips who had no formal training in the activities in which they engaged.

 I view what I do as therapeutic, when I physically do sessions with clients. I perform exhaustive intake interviews before ever playing with anyone. I do not cater to men, as this is neither sound professional practice nor contextually sensible. If/when men attempt to order activities like ordering from a menu, I correct them or end the communication. It is my mission to help men, women, and couples understand the benefits of FemDom and the D/s lifestyle in a manner that is built on ethical and intelligent introspection and play.

 I have chosen this as my profession because I believe that the best way for me to provide for my family in a loving and productive way is through doing what I truly love in a way that brings positive change to the world. My husband and I both work, and we do so because we are both intelligent human beings with much to offer the world by way of sharing our talents. This does not mean that I am any less a Domme because I work and provide, and while I can understand your view of wanting males to provide for women, I believe ultimately that the choice to work is the woman's to make.

Bonds - Physical v. Mental

Bondage is delightful.
The sensory input of pressure, restraint, and the texture of the bonds thrills and allows the sub a physical gateway into mental submission.

Bondage is an excellent aspect of Kink, and, in the case of shibari, a complete art form unto itself. Intricate knots, beautiful pseudo articles of clothing, slings, suspension - the list goes on and on.

Many love to admire a beautiful man or woman trussed to specifications by a skilled artist, and the erotic value of a restrained sub is (for me, at least) sky high.
Shackles and cuffs are also wonderful items - either prison grade to reinforce total submission with a dash of humiliation, or fleece lined leather to afford luxury and comfort while still providing immobility. So many options, so many avenues for sensory delight.
Physical bonds: we love them

But what about mental bonds?
What about the inherent binding power of a Domme/Dom's will as it is exerted over a submissive: that bond which can keep a submissive on their knees with a mere look; the bond that courses from hand to face with the merest tilt of a submissive's chin; the bond that is still felt even after a scene is finished, which stays with the submissive as s/he leaves and goes back into day to day life?

I would argue that this type of bond, this chemical/emotional/willful bond, is as powerful as those that bind elements unto one another.
It's this type of bond which should be the goal, the endgame, the light at the end of the long tunnel through each journey of self discovery and search for true Dominance/submission.

Am I dismissing physical bondage?
Of course not.
I'd be foolish to dismiss the physical (and fantastic) initial gateway so often necessary for passage to submission and enjoyed by so many of us as we play with our respective partner(s).

My point is that mental bonds - those forged by time and interaction and tempered by skill and knowledge - are far more powerful and far more intimate than their rope and metal counterparts.

As Dominants, we must not rely on physical bonds to assert the control given to us willingly by our needful submissives.

Needful is not a dirty word, but rather an honest admission of the state of those who would submit: the craving of a Dominant to bind them, physically or mentally, and give them total peace.

"What's the point of being Dominated?"

"What's the point of a BDSM session? If I told someone that I was paying a woman to come to my house, kick me in the balls and then slap me before shoving things in my ass, I can't even imagine what they would say to me."

First of all, this cannot be boiled down to a simple goods-for-cash dynamic.
Yes, I am getting paid.
Yes, you are the one paying me.
But I am not a convenience store with product on the shelves, ready for consumption.
We must communicate.
You must be willing to bare your needs, desires, fetishes, and whole sexual self to me, in order for me to give you the EXPERIENCE you desire.

You're paying me to give you the sensory and mental input you crave, in a stylized manner that allows you to give up the constant drive to control and withdraw.

You're paying me to get what you want, the way you want it, in a safe and secure setting, without any fear or shame.

Reducing what you want to the lowest common denominator ("come to my house, kick me in the balls, slap me before shoving things in my ass") feeds a perceived "wrongness" of it.

What I do is not wrong, but it is taboo, and it is not for the faint of heart.
There will be consensual pain, but it is a portal - it allows you to let go of the other types of pain that plague you.

The concept of "how much can you know about yourself, if you've never been in a fight" applies here, as well: how much can you know about yourself until you let go, and give up control to me?

 Asking "what's the point" of a session is like asking "what's the point of sex, for pleasure?" - the point is the emotional, physical, sensory, and mental input.

The point is experiencing pleasure on your own terms, in the way you most desire to feel pleasure.