"What do you get out of being a ProDomme?"

"What do you, as the professional and the facilitator, get out of a session, other than your payment? Do you enjoy your work, or do you just enjoy the financial rewards?"

This question comes from a friend in the vanilla world who has never participated in Kink or BDSM play, and who was extremely curious as to how a professional relationship of this variety could yield enjoyment, on my end. She goes on to ask, "I mean, you are giving them everything they want, after doing all these intake interviews and getting to know them, in depth. Where is your fun, if it exists at all?"

I enjoy my work to an inordinately high degree, and this is why:

Mental domination and the mental/fetishistic analysis of my clients is incredibly stimulating.
Like any experienced professional who chose their field from a love of the work, I adore increasing my repertoire and finding new facets and new outlets for Kink/BDSM play.

Knowing that a person has opened their mind to me, without reservation, is the ultimate thrill.

Watching the internal realizations of submissives gives me immense satisfaction.
Receiving messages or hearing utterances, in person, of self-awareness is the true pinnacle of my work. When a sub understands and expresses understanding of their wants, needs, fantasies, desires, and fetishes, it means that I have succeeded.
When the sub learns how to use that understanding to enjoy themselves to the fullest under my instruction during scenes or verbal play, then I have excelled and they have excelled alongside me.

Communication: The Great Common Denominator

Communication means being willing to speak difficult truths.

It means putting honesty and transparency above comfort.

Communication means speaking your total truth, but also being prepared to hear the truth of your partner(s).

In a D/s, PE, or TPE relationship where control is at a premium, a couple cannot survive unless transparent communication is at the heart of the relationship.

If we look openly and honestly at all relationships, it's clear that communication is the single factor that can make or break even the most solid of romantic foundations.

It's not just the BDSM/Kink community that needs to keep communication at the fore: it's every couple, every poly arrangement, every single human being that wants to get what they need and provide their loved one(s) the same service.

If you do not ask, you cannot know.
If you do wish to know, you must ask.

"What's the point of being Dominated?"

"What's the point of a BDSM session? If I told someone that I was paying a woman to come to my house, kick me in the balls and then slap me before shoving things in my ass, I can't even imagine what they would say to me."

First of all, this cannot be boiled down to a simple goods-for-cash dynamic.
Yes, I am getting paid.
Yes, you are the one paying me.
But I am not a convenience store with product on the shelves, ready for consumption.
We must communicate.
You must be willing to bare your needs, desires, fetishes, and whole sexual self to me, in order for me to give you the EXPERIENCE you desire.

You're paying me to give you the sensory and mental input you crave, in a stylized manner that allows you to give up the constant drive to control and withdraw.

You're paying me to get what you want, the way you want it, in a safe and secure setting, without any fear or shame.

Reducing what you want to the lowest common denominator ("come to my house, kick me in the balls, slap me before shoving things in my ass") feeds a perceived "wrongness" of it.

What I do is not wrong, but it is taboo, and it is not for the faint of heart.
There will be consensual pain, but it is a portal - it allows you to let go of the other types of pain that plague you.

The concept of "how much can you know about yourself, if you've never been in a fight" applies here, as well: how much can you know about yourself until you let go, and give up control to me?

 Asking "what's the point" of a session is like asking "what's the point of sex, for pleasure?" - the point is the emotional, physical, sensory, and mental input.

The point is experiencing pleasure on your own terms, in the way you most desire to feel pleasure.