Impossible is an Opinion

Take it from someone who used to bandy about the word "Impossible."
I'll never find a long-term pet/partner - it's impossible to find a person who will love me.
I'll never be happy - it's impossible to feel whole and secure.
I'll never have a family of my own - it's impossible to be ready to be a mother.
I'll never be able to be my whole self - it's impossible to do that, safely.

Guess what?

That was all an opinion.
None of it was factual.
None of it.

For a very long time, I accepted the world as a small minded individual.
I lived in the world I'd been given, rather than looking beyond it, seeing the possibilities, and making a world, for myself.

Once I looked at my own power, I realized just how fucking powerful I can be.
I can challenge.
I can Dominate.
I can change.
I can help.
I can heal.
I can give.
I can trust.
I can create.

I can love.

Coming to these realizations, and acting on them, came at a high price: the whole of my doubt, fear, and insecurity.

Pay up.
Move on.

Take the dare.

Never let your own mind overthrow your drive to give love.
Never, ever, allow your insecurities to keep you from the ones who love you, in return.

On Varied Love: An Open Letter to My pet/Husband, on Polyamory

My darling pet, my devoted husband, my best friend, and the father of our beautiful child,

I love you more than I thought it would be possible to love another human being.
You have given me a life, a family, and a home that, without you, would not have been possible.
You teach me, every day, what it means to be a Partner.
You help me, every day, to be the best Domme I can possibly be.

 Because I love you, and because you have given me such varied gifts of love, I believe it is right and salutary that I present this letter, to you, in a way that shares my messages of love for you, and revelation within myself, in a public venue.

I need you to understand what it means when I talk about polyamory.

Polyamory is not based in greed, dissatisfaction, or narcissism.
It is based in the personal and interpersonal knowledge that Love can exist between more than two people and still be True.

 (I have been trying to find an accurate way to express this for over a decade. Being able to finally do so, in a moment of writer's clarity, is one of the great reliefs of my life.)

After ten years, ten long years of trying to figure out what in thunderfuck my brain needed in order to feel whole and complete and sane and at peace, I am finally comfortable saying, "Yes, I am poly."

Yes, I want to enjoy the bodies, minds, and junk of other people.
Yes, I want to lap at a woman's cunt until she loses her mind.
Yes, I want to feel the security of submitting to a man who knows his way around a flogger and the female mind, from a sensually sadistic standpoint.

It's not easy to make these statements, nor are they statements that I make lightly.

I realize that making these statements, and doing so in a public manner, may have intense repercussions in my own home and with you, my own devoted partner.

I also realize that, in order to be the best Domme, wife, and partner possible, all cards must be on the table.
All truth must be transparent and accessible.

 Is this terrifying?
 Yep.
I'm scared-near-shitless to be speaking my truth.

 But, the Truth has a funny way of making itself heard, and of leaving Peace in its wake.

 Here's to Love, and to being honest with those to whom we give it.

 Yours,
 Beatrice


Post Scripts, from Me to him: 

- No amount of play with another person will ever cause me to stop loving you, or to love you in a different manner. You are my Primary, my Heart, and my Husband.

- I did not tell you what was in my head in order to change you.
I did it for myself.
I did it in order to be honest.
I did it in order to follow the same expectations I have set down, for you.
 Honesty.
Transparency.
Clear statements of desires.
Saying things that i'm scared to say, but doing it anyway, because it's the right thing to do.
Keeping nothing a secret.
Keeping you informed of what is happening in my head, no matter how scary I think it might be, both to tell you and for you to hear.

I will never stop telling you the truth.
I will never stop listening to the truth you tell, to me.