When you think of a tribute, what comes to mind?
Jewelry, wine, gift cards, monetary deposits, services, or perhaps even traded talents such as webpage building or maintenance are all tributes that I've enjoyed receiving.
But it's not just about enjoyment, nor is it simply about me "using" a submissive for my own monetary, material, or status-based gain.
Tributes are the contract of good faith between a Domme and a sub, and especially between a ProDomme and a potential client. A tribute shows, in no uncertain terms, the worth that a sub places on his interaction with a Woman he truly wishes to serve. Tributes are the first and most basic form of service.
There is no service without sacrifice.
I want to make that point very clear.
The submissives who seek to receive time, effort, interaction, and assignments from Dommes without giving of themselves, their resources, or their talents FIRST are not only insulting but also blatantly ignoring the pretense under which they are operating - to serve a Woman.
What is service? It's making life better, easier, and more enjoyable for that Domme.
Service, in the case of Lifestyle Dommes and subs, could be cleaning the house, doing the laundry, fetching groceries, going on errands, filling the car with gas, or any other number of truly helpful tasks to be completed in order to make the Domme's life easier.
It could be manicures or pedicures, either bought for the Domme or completed by the sub himself. Pampering is always a highly valued form of service - it shows, intensely, that the submissive truly has put the Domina above himself and has taken pains to ensure that her comfort is paramount.
Monetarily providing for your Domme is, of course, a very clear form of service, and is the method of choice for many. But never discount the tributes of time, effort, and creativity from submissives.
Service, in the case of a sub and Domme engaged in professional interaction or FinDom, is clearly defined by the monetary offering a slave makes in order to receive time, attention, and interaction with a Dominant Woman. This monetary exchange, the initial tribute, shows the Domme that a client will not waste her time.
So often, far too often, submissive clients arrange a meeting, confirm the meeting, then do not arrive. There is no recourse for the ProDomme. There is no way of demanding money from the so-called client without engaging in blackmail, which (unless previously stated as a desired activity) is ethically unthinkable. The initial tribute, then, is necessary - much like a consult fee - to ensure that the Domme's time is not wasted.
Tributes are the first step in a submissive showing respect for the Domme, her time, and her talents.
It is no easy task to receive, analyze, and develop a method of delivery that will both challenge and ensure enjoyment by the submissive during a professional session. A Domme who takes her work seriously knows that there are hours and hours of prep involved, mentally, physically, and strategically. For a sub to not respect this time, and to merely expect this time to be given without recompense, is ridiculous.
Submissives, remember: you are asking a Domme to guide you, teach you, care for you, hurt you but not harm you, and give you access to the pleasure that you so deeply desire. You are asking for an enormous amount of individualized effort - never take that effort for granted, and in a professional setting, treat the Domme as you would treat your therapist, doctor, or any other person who takes both your mind and body into their care.
Showing posts with label ProDomme. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ProDomme. Show all posts
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Monday, December 16, 2013
Back After More Shenanigans
Good morning to all of you, dear readers, wherever and whomever you may be!
I return after yet another adventure involving needles, speculums, and latex gloves - sadly, it was not a med-play convention, but rather another visit to the emergency room.
Hey, a girl can distract herself with happy thoughts, right?! Right.
In any event, I'm back, not much worse for the wear, and in the swing of holiday spirit here in my own little happy home/dungeon.
This Christmas is a very special one because it marks the beginning of my pet/Husband's training, in earnest. I went all out and spared no expense in obtaining a fine assortment of personal implements/pieces to both delight his very vivid but untapped proclivities and literally tickle his fancy in ways he's never even heard of until now.
Needless to say, we're both quite excited. So excited, in fact, that we'll be documenting the finer highlights of his training in pictures and words, right here on the blog!
The series of posts will be part educational and part erotica, but ALL deliciously deviant in nature.
Here's to training the obedient and living our lives in the knowledge that we are afforded such little time in which to enjoy one another: Make all of it count!
I return after yet another adventure involving needles, speculums, and latex gloves - sadly, it was not a med-play convention, but rather another visit to the emergency room.
Hey, a girl can distract herself with happy thoughts, right?! Right.
In any event, I'm back, not much worse for the wear, and in the swing of holiday spirit here in my own little happy home/dungeon.
This Christmas is a very special one because it marks the beginning of my pet/Husband's training, in earnest. I went all out and spared no expense in obtaining a fine assortment of personal implements/pieces to both delight his very vivid but untapped proclivities and literally tickle his fancy in ways he's never even heard of until now.
 |
| Tickle, get it? Big-time tickle. |
Needless to say, we're both quite excited. So excited, in fact, that we'll be documenting the finer highlights of his training in pictures and words, right here on the blog!
The series of posts will be part educational and part erotica, but ALL deliciously deviant in nature.
Here's to training the obedient and living our lives in the knowledge that we are afforded such little time in which to enjoy one another: Make all of it count!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Dommes, We Get What We Give
I've read quite a bit about Dommes who are angered by men who are timewasters and losers, due to the fact that they do not instantly bow down, lick shiny patent leather toed pumps, open up the wallet, or do similar instant shows of submission.
I cannot help but roll my eyes.
Ladies, let us remember: We get what We give.
If we expect men to throw cash at us without so much as a mutual understanding of needs/desires/wants/expectations, then how in fuck-all are we better than the subs who email and immediately start the 40 questions routine?
If we demand to be worshipped before rapport is established with a would-be worshipper, then we are no better than the subs who try to top from the bottom and want Our time on their terms.
We've all shut down the fucktards who are demanding and who show no respect.
What, then, should we do when we, or Dommes we know, suddenly find ourselves demanding things that we have no right to demand?
We have to call a spade a spade and shut THAT type of behavior down.
When submissives are asked to pay to converse/establish rapport, then the submissive immediately feels used.
Demands for money without an established understanding of each other's wants/needs is just as disingenuous as a submissive who is all talk/a time waster.
And, let me clarify the term "used."
There is being used in play, in a consenting environment, and there is being used in real life in an unethical way by a Domme who is not holding up her end of the interaction.
Like it or not, would-be-Dominants, nothing comes for free.
To do FinDom, or any aspect of FemDom correctly, you need to actually BE a Dominant, and that means doing the work. Submission should NEVER happen instantaneously.
Domination should NEVER be presumed, just because you have Domme/Mistress/Madame/Goddess in front of your screen name.
If you expect instant gratification, I've got a news flash: you're in the wrong business/lifestyle.
Until you realize that you give what you get, you'll continue to give/get at the lowest common denominator.
We are better than that.
Let's act like we know it.
I cannot help but roll my eyes.
Ladies, let us remember: We get what We give.
If we expect men to throw cash at us without so much as a mutual understanding of needs/desires/wants/expectations, then how in fuck-all are we better than the subs who email and immediately start the 40 questions routine?
If we demand to be worshipped before rapport is established with a would-be worshipper, then we are no better than the subs who try to top from the bottom and want Our time on their terms.
We've all shut down the fucktards who are demanding and who show no respect.
What, then, should we do when we, or Dommes we know, suddenly find ourselves demanding things that we have no right to demand?
We have to call a spade a spade and shut THAT type of behavior down.
When submissives are asked to pay to converse/establish rapport, then the submissive immediately feels used.
Demands for money without an established understanding of each other's wants/needs is just as disingenuous as a submissive who is all talk/a time waster.
And, let me clarify the term "used."
There is being used in play, in a consenting environment, and there is being used in real life in an unethical way by a Domme who is not holding up her end of the interaction.
Like it or not, would-be-Dominants, nothing comes for free.
To do FinDom, or any aspect of FemDom correctly, you need to actually BE a Dominant, and that means doing the work. Submission should NEVER happen instantaneously.
Domination should NEVER be presumed, just because you have Domme/Mistress/Madame/Goddess in front of your screen name.
If you expect instant gratification, I've got a news flash: you're in the wrong business/lifestyle.
Until you realize that you give what you get, you'll continue to give/get at the lowest common denominator.
We are better than that.
Let's act like we know it.
Brats Will Not Be Tolerated
Oh, you decided to get petulant?
You started making demands, trying to talk back, and generally were devoid of manners, when we last spoke?
You suddenly thought it was acceptable to speak to me as an equal?
Well, isn't that cute.
You won't get a reaction.
You won't even get a response.
You simply get the Control + Alt + Delete.
No questions, no second chances.
I'm in charge.
You're lucky I even acknowledge your existence.
I'm firm, but fair, and I return brattishness with punishment.
Your impudence and lack of respect have earned you a one way ticket to a universe WITHOUT my attention.
Enjoy.
You started making demands, trying to talk back, and generally were devoid of manners, when we last spoke?
You suddenly thought it was acceptable to speak to me as an equal?
Well, isn't that cute.
You won't get a reaction.
You won't even get a response.
You simply get the Control + Alt + Delete.
No questions, no second chances.
I'm in charge.
You're lucky I even acknowledge your existence.
I'm firm, but fair, and I return brattishness with punishment.
Your impudence and lack of respect have earned you a one way ticket to a universe WITHOUT my attention.
Enjoy.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
i'm Thankful for Kinky Sex
This Thanksgiving, I'm going to be honest.
I'm going to give thanks for some of the things that aren't discussed around the turkey-dinner over cranberry sauce and plentiful amounts of alcohol.
That's right - it's time to be thankful for kinky sex: cerebral kinky foreplay, chats that turn a little window into full-on subspace, biting and scratching and whimpering and CUMMING.
I'm fucking thankful!
I'm thankful for toys - the metal, the plastic, the vibrating, the insertable, the bejeweled, and the beautiful.
I'm thankful for implements - the whips, the crops, the paddles, the floggers (oh, THANK you for the floggers), the canes, and the hairbrushes.
I'm thankful for the subs - oh those sweet masochistic and deliciously giving submissives!
I'm thankful for My pet - my sweetest toy, my most wiling first-timer, my darling puppy, and my perfectly muscled pony.
I'm thankful for my inspiration - D.M. Dewey, Ruffled Sheets, Marabelle Blue, and Sir Ken.
I'm thankful for every single person who has opened up, and talked about their kinks, with me.
THANK you, yes YOU, for feeding my never ending quest to revel in the sexiest corners of your mind!
And, as always, thank you for, so willingly, allowing me to help you explore them, too.
I'm going to give thanks for some of the things that aren't discussed around the turkey-dinner over cranberry sauce and plentiful amounts of alcohol.
That's right - it's time to be thankful for kinky sex: cerebral kinky foreplay, chats that turn a little window into full-on subspace, biting and scratching and whimpering and CUMMING.
I'm fucking thankful!
I'm thankful for toys - the metal, the plastic, the vibrating, the insertable, the bejeweled, and the beautiful.
I'm thankful for implements - the whips, the crops, the paddles, the floggers (oh, THANK you for the floggers), the canes, and the hairbrushes.
I'm thankful for the subs - oh those sweet masochistic and deliciously giving submissives!
I'm thankful for My pet - my sweetest toy, my most wiling first-timer, my darling puppy, and my perfectly muscled pony.
I'm thankful for my inspiration - D.M. Dewey, Ruffled Sheets, Marabelle Blue, and Sir Ken.
I'm thankful for every single person who has opened up, and talked about their kinks, with me.
THANK you, yes YOU, for feeding my never ending quest to revel in the sexiest corners of your mind!
And, as always, thank you for, so willingly, allowing me to help you explore them, too.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Smoking Fetish: My own Love-Affair with Smoke
I felt so cool, so accepted, so promoted.
I loved the way the smoke curled inside of me,
the way I had something to do with my hands,
and the way I felt like a tough, capable woman while smoking.
Yes, I'm aware of the cancerous side effects.
Yes, I'm aware of the horrible damage I did to my lungs, larynx, and vocal folds.
But, hot damn.
Nothing beats smoking.
Nothing compares to the power of the french inhale from across the bar when men are staring.
Nothing compares to the rush of winter in NYC at 2 am when you're covered in a fine sheen of sweat, but you're still out on the street breathing in all the joy of the evening with each puff.
Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, compares to feeling your body explode in orgasm, then tasting that first mint-tinged drag.
Nothing.
So, for those of you with a smoking fetish, I get it.
I'm right there with you.
I love the way I look with a cigarette, and I love the way I feel when men watch me smoke.
I love ashing into a perfectly clean crystal ashtray, held by a man who only lives to watch me blow smoke in his face.
I love wearing thin black leather gloves and never needing to light my own cigarette, as I relax.
I love the curl, the wisp, the secret inherent to every breath.
I love that I look more than slightly villainous when I enjoy, slowly, the thick haze that surrounds me during a long night at the bar.
Postlude
I've since moved on to vapor, and have found that, with only a few brands, can I achieve the same sensations and look of the real thing.
The above picture is actually an eCig, and it does a lovely job of giving me my fix without tearing up my lungs.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Kinky Musings: Sounds, Med-play, Ruined Orgasms, and Syringe-Fed Cum
Today, I'm feeling the need to expand on a thought-process involving sounds, restraint, med-play, and ruined orgasms...
When musing on the topic, the first words concerning sound sensation were:
"[the sound] being moved up and down feels like a long, slow, never-ending orgasm."
They'd been told to me by an individual who was a seasoned veteran of sound play. He loves it on its own or as part of a scene. I share his statement because men need to read it.
It's a resounding endorsement for those who look at sounding and see nothing but pain.
I want to break down just how heavenly medical sound play can be, from My vantage point.
I adore strapping men down and then getting out my tray with all the instruments.
It's a head rush to lay out each instrument, one by one, and watch a sub's eyes stare in nervous lust.
Urethral sounds, speculums, Wartenberg wheels, many and various clamps, electro stim attachments, vibrating attachments, dildos - anything the imagination allows, really.
I especially love laying out sounding sets. All that cool, clean, shining silver-colored metal. Glinting, waiting, ready, and patiently waiting to be used - not unlike my patient.
The feel would be cold and sterile, for the setting and execution, culminating in a ruined/minimized orgasm.
The patient would be sounded. Stretched.
His nipples, hips, ass, mouth, but especially his cock, would be worked over, bit by bit by glorious bit.
He'd be brought to the point of orgasm -
then a bucket of ice would be upended on his cock.
Once the orgasm is ruined, the cock would be held downwards and the underside teased gently until the subject reached orgasm, whereby stimulation would be stopped, but the cock still held in that position and the semen collected in a medical specimen jar and then fed directly to the subject.
The way it would be collected varies, depending on the familiarity between play partners.
If it's a new subject, the condom is put on the cock and then the cum is sucked out with a syringe. If it is a regular, known submissive, a small cap with tubing is attached to the top of the dick so that cum squirts into a receptacle, even from an erect cock. This process is then repeated once or twice, depending on what the pathetic sub can manage.
The patient would be milked until he could not longer maintain consciousness.
Postlude:
So many men are sluts for their own cum, no matter how they can get it. Others are enamored of what they perceive to be the humiliation factor so, more cum, more humiliation. Personally, I enjoy watching them learn to love eating their own remains - it drives the point home that, yes, when you cum, you get to clean up the mess.
When musing on the topic, the first words concerning sound sensation were:
"[the sound] being moved up and down feels like a long, slow, never-ending orgasm."
They'd been told to me by an individual who was a seasoned veteran of sound play. He loves it on its own or as part of a scene. I share his statement because men need to read it.
It's a resounding endorsement for those who look at sounding and see nothing but pain.
I want to break down just how heavenly medical sound play can be, from My vantage point.
I adore strapping men down and then getting out my tray with all the instruments.
It's a head rush to lay out each instrument, one by one, and watch a sub's eyes stare in nervous lust.
Urethral sounds, speculums, Wartenberg wheels, many and various clamps, electro stim attachments, vibrating attachments, dildos - anything the imagination allows, really.
I especially love laying out sounding sets. All that cool, clean, shining silver-colored metal. Glinting, waiting, ready, and patiently waiting to be used - not unlike my patient.
The feel would be cold and sterile, for the setting and execution, culminating in a ruined/minimized orgasm.
The patient would be sounded. Stretched.
His nipples, hips, ass, mouth, but especially his cock, would be worked over, bit by bit by glorious bit.
He'd be brought to the point of orgasm -
then a bucket of ice would be upended on his cock.
Once the orgasm is ruined, the cock would be held downwards and the underside teased gently until the subject reached orgasm, whereby stimulation would be stopped, but the cock still held in that position and the semen collected in a medical specimen jar and then fed directly to the subject.
The way it would be collected varies, depending on the familiarity between play partners.
If it's a new subject, the condom is put on the cock and then the cum is sucked out with a syringe. If it is a regular, known submissive, a small cap with tubing is attached to the top of the dick so that cum squirts into a receptacle, even from an erect cock. This process is then repeated once or twice, depending on what the pathetic sub can manage.
The patient would be milked until he could not longer maintain consciousness.
Postlude:
So many men are sluts for their own cum, no matter how they can get it. Others are enamored of what they perceive to be the humiliation factor so, more cum, more humiliation. Personally, I enjoy watching them learn to love eating their own remains - it drives the point home that, yes, when you cum, you get to clean up the mess.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Sheela Na Gig: So Very Pleased to Meet You
It is difficult to fathom how I have not been privy to this concept/image/goddess/protector/destroyer/creator prior to this morning.
I am immersing myself in the imagery.
I really can't stop staring into the myriad vulvae populating my screen, thanks to GoogleImages.
There it is, a female figure holding herself open, grinning in the face of anything and everything that may be coming toward her.
She does not give two tenths of a fuck.
No, I take that back.
She knows she's powerful.
She knows her BODY is powerful.
She is the opposite of bodily and/or Womanly shame.
My god, I don't quite know how to process all of this in a coherent, let alone articulate, way.
I just keep staring.
So much of this imagery hits me right between the ribs.
It's debilitating to see a concept you've struggled to understand and embrace for a lifetime RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
I know that, throughout my life, even before I was able to understand the concept of sexual healing, I've felt the urge to use my body and my ability to protect and envelop others, mentally and physically, for good.
For THE good.
For uppercase, all-around, heart-pounding, evil-obliterating Good.
It's terrifyingly humbling to look at an image and see the visual manifestation of an innate, personal, but heretofore undefined truth.
Sheela Na Gig - I'm so very pleased to meet you.
I am immersing myself in the imagery.
I really can't stop staring into the myriad vulvae populating my screen, thanks to GoogleImages.
There it is, a female figure holding herself open, grinning in the face of anything and everything that may be coming toward her.
She does not give two tenths of a fuck.
No, I take that back.
She knows she's powerful.
She knows her BODY is powerful.
She is the opposite of bodily and/or Womanly shame.
My god, I don't quite know how to process all of this in a coherent, let alone articulate, way.
I just keep staring.
So much of this imagery hits me right between the ribs.
It's debilitating to see a concept you've struggled to understand and embrace for a lifetime RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
I know that, throughout my life, even before I was able to understand the concept of sexual healing, I've felt the urge to use my body and my ability to protect and envelop others, mentally and physically, for good.
For THE good.
For uppercase, all-around, heart-pounding, evil-obliterating Good.
It's terrifyingly humbling to look at an image and see the visual manifestation of an innate, personal, but heretofore undefined truth.
Sheela Na Gig - I'm so very pleased to meet you.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Fuck Generic Play
Yes, I said it.
Fuck generic play.
I'll keep saying it.
Fuck generic interaction, communication, and play.
In fact, no - using the word fuck, here, is contradictory.
Being generic should NEVER garner the pleasure of being fucked, mindfucked, or even "fucked with" in the sense of teasing.
Nothing is more insulting to me, as a Pro and Lifestyle Domme, than those individuals who regurgitate the same old boring, tired, generic slop and try to pass it off as some kind of worshipful and innovative brand of FemDom.
To any who are guilty of this behavior, to any degree, I say:
Knock that shit off.
Respect yourself enough to learn, interact, speak, write, and play on a sincere level.
Go out and meet people in your community, or in other communities.
Get off the internet once in a while and live the life you claim to love.
Give BACK.
Grow, for fuck's sake.
I'm swearing, today.
This happens when I get my blood pumping early in the morning.
The four letter words come out when I have reached the end of my patience with women, men, and anyone who does not fall exclusively into either category, who attempt to style themselves as the Real Deal.
No, posing with a five dollar whip does not make you Dominant.
No, calling every person with whom you interact a bitch or a piggy does not make you an adept practitioner of FemDom.
No, being a demanding and brattish glutton for material goods does not make you an actual FinDomme.
No, verbally kissing the ass of anyone with the title of Master or Mistress does not make you a submissive.
No, being an attention whore does not make you worthy of a Domme/Dom's attention.
People, wake up.
Stop the generic approach to D/s.
Stop the generic approach to business.
Stop the generic approach to interaction.
I feel like writing the Bondage version of Fight Club.
I feel, distinctly, like Tyler.
You are not your number of Twitter followers.
You are not your number of friends on FetLife whom you've never met, in person.
You are not the pile of expensive shoes sitting in your walk-in closet in which you never walk.
Most of us don't wear khakis, but the statement still applies:
You are not your fucking khakis.
In the end, that's what all the trappings of Domination become, if you allow yourself to become lazy, complacent, stagnant, and generic - your leather corset becomes the khakis of the Kinky world.
Fuck. That. Noise.
Do something, today, that is outside of your norm.
Do something, today, that is genuine.
Do something, right now, this moment, that will set you on the path to being both stimulated and stimulating.
You are not the crop in your closet.
You are not the boots on your feet.
You are not your fucking corset.
Change starts, now.
Fuck generic play.
I'll keep saying it.
Fuck generic interaction, communication, and play.
In fact, no - using the word fuck, here, is contradictory.
Being generic should NEVER garner the pleasure of being fucked, mindfucked, or even "fucked with" in the sense of teasing.
Nothing is more insulting to me, as a Pro and Lifestyle Domme, than those individuals who regurgitate the same old boring, tired, generic slop and try to pass it off as some kind of worshipful and innovative brand of FemDom.
To any who are guilty of this behavior, to any degree, I say:
Knock that shit off.
Respect yourself enough to learn, interact, speak, write, and play on a sincere level.
Go out and meet people in your community, or in other communities.
Get off the internet once in a while and live the life you claim to love.
Give BACK.
Grow, for fuck's sake.
I'm swearing, today.
This happens when I get my blood pumping early in the morning.
The four letter words come out when I have reached the end of my patience with women, men, and anyone who does not fall exclusively into either category, who attempt to style themselves as the Real Deal.
No, posing with a five dollar whip does not make you Dominant.
No, calling every person with whom you interact a bitch or a piggy does not make you an adept practitioner of FemDom.
No, being a demanding and brattish glutton for material goods does not make you an actual FinDomme.
No, verbally kissing the ass of anyone with the title of Master or Mistress does not make you a submissive.
No, being an attention whore does not make you worthy of a Domme/Dom's attention.
People, wake up.
Stop the generic approach to D/s.
Stop the generic approach to business.
Stop the generic approach to interaction.
I feel like writing the Bondage version of Fight Club.
I feel, distinctly, like Tyler.
You are not your number of Twitter followers.
You are not your number of friends on FetLife whom you've never met, in person.
You are not the pile of expensive shoes sitting in your walk-in closet in which you never walk.
Most of us don't wear khakis, but the statement still applies:
You are not your fucking khakis.
In the end, that's what all the trappings of Domination become, if you allow yourself to become lazy, complacent, stagnant, and generic - your leather corset becomes the khakis of the Kinky world.
Fuck. That. Noise.
Do something, today, that is outside of your norm.
Do something, today, that is genuine.
Do something, right now, this moment, that will set you on the path to being both stimulated and stimulating.
You are not the crop in your closet.
You are not the boots on your feet.
You are not your fucking corset.
Change starts, now.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Verbal Stimulation - Using Your Words to Get Results
In working with more and more clients in this, my new city of Buffalo, I'm realizing just how widespread the disparity is between desire and the ability to articulate that desire.
Perhaps it is merely the disparity between desire and access to a safe space/person in and with whom to express that desire.
Either way, there's a lot of repression through which my clients are working.
And no, it's not a condition local to Buffalo.
It's certainly a behavior that I have previously encountered: subs who want, need, and crave Dominance but have no earthly idea how to ask for it or how to articulate the specifics of those desires.
I am, perhaps, simply so keenly aware of it, here, because it has been the common denominator amongst all of my clients, to date.
It's certainly a behavior that I have previously encountered: subs who want, need, and crave Dominance but have no earthly idea how to ask for it or how to articulate the specifics of those desires.
I am, perhaps, simply so keenly aware of it, here, because it has been the common denominator amongst all of my clients, to date.
It is also the current, but slowly changing, condition of my sweetest pet and favorite personal sub.
Every day I'm learning just how painful but important it is to encourage and bear witness to the verbal expression, written or spoken, of his new and slightly unnerving journey toward self awareness.
Every day I'm learning just how painful but important it is to encourage and bear witness to the verbal expression, written or spoken, of his new and slightly unnerving journey toward self awareness.
That's what verbal interaction is all about, for both Dommes and the subs they love and the clients with whom they work: self awareness that leads to self fulfillment.
Physical pleasure is high on the list, and no one's denying it. I thrill every time I see my sweet pet or one of my clients absolutely lose themselves in sensation.
But the true high, the true ecstasy for me, comes from their understanding of those sensations and clear ability to ask for those sensations.
But the true high, the true ecstasy for me, comes from their understanding of those sensations and clear ability to ask for those sensations.
Am I on the cerebral end? You're damn right. Do I want to get inside the minds of every sub I encounter and lick their motor strip and processing centers until they cum? Double-damn right.
However, since lobotomy and cranial lingual stimulation are not recommended, I get to use my tongue in other ways - I get to use my words.
I get to describe, entice, tease, create, and titillate, all with the mere touch of my tongue to my teeth and hard palette.
I get to show my sweet favorite that I love him by telling him, outright, and by telling him what I love to do to him, his mind, and his body.
I get to encourage, praise, and correct with the softest direction and the most lustful demands.
I get to encourage, praise, and correct with the softest direction and the most lustful demands.
I get to lead by example.
With every submissive, I strive to use my words in an effort to show them that they, too, can have exactly what they need through the simple act of asking.
Hell, you go ahead and beg, you beautiful submissives - you know I like that.
Articulate begging, and even barely-lucid begging, are hugely aphrodisiac in their effect.
Hell, you go ahead and beg, you beautiful submissives - you know I like that.
Articulate begging, and even barely-lucid begging, are hugely aphrodisiac in their effect.
But you have to start somewhere -
You have to start by talking, and by asking for what you want.
Believe me, your words will yield amazingly tailored and pleasurable results.
You have to start by talking, and by asking for what you want.
Believe me, your words will yield amazingly tailored and pleasurable results.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
The Beauty of Submissive Men
Men who derive happiness from submission and service, who find their bliss at the feet and in the will of their Goddess - these men have learned the joy of letting go.
They have learned that their world is not defined by their jobs; that it is not defined by the sports they watch, the friends they have, or the mantastic manly-man activities in which they engage in their free time.
They have learned that they can be exactly who they are and who they WANT TO BE in the presence of a woman who is strong enough and trustworthy enough to give them Dominance.
Submissive men can be 24/7 lifestyle subs, or they may simply need to have that one hour in the week during which they find release and a much deserved break from the facade of total control.
I love submissive men for many reasons:
I love their ability to express their need.
I love watching that moment of giving in - the eyes roll back, the teeth bite the lower lip, and you can tell they're home.
I love the sighs, the eagerly open mouths, the willingness to trust and obey.
Men who are submissive, who have the courage to ask for a Mistresss, show such strength.
Men who are switches, who understand the fluidity and balance of their minds, show such awareness.
Men who come to me and ask (humbly, with respect) to please be given the peace and understanding only afforded by a Woman in Power, will always receive what they seek.
My life's work is dedicated to fostering a safe and sane space, whether in a chat window, hotel room, dungeon, or bedroom, and ensuring that my clients walk away feeling whole.
Submissive men, I salute you.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
What Do you think of Genital Piercings, for Pets?
"Madame, do you think that piercing a pet is a solid practice to show ownership? Have you ever had a pet pierced? Do you enjoy the way it looks?"
I am thrilled to be answering these questions, as I just had my favorite pet pierced (like this) 24 hours ago. It's the most beautiful placement of jewelry I think I've ever seen on a male body.
I'm a huge proponent of body modification, and have had the joy of watching a pet be tattooed with my mark. That process paled in comparison to piercing, in terms of sheer power and reaction of the pet.
I believe that piercing is the most elegant and efficient means to constantly remind pets that they are owned, utterly and completely.
With genital piercings especially, the constant reminder typically keeps them constantly aroused. They are on edge, in the most deliciously torturous of ways, and they always have their Mistress on the mind.
I believe that in piercing the cock of a slave you reinforce the fact that it does not belong to that person - it belongs totally and utterly to You, the Madame/Mistress/Domme. Every time he moves, pissess, thinks about touching himself, or becomes hard, he is reminded that he has been modified by his Owner.
The experience is one that can be worked towards, providing a goal for those pets who require constant tangible motivation. (There is nothing wrong with needing such motivation, as it keeps the imagination and body at peak performance in anticipation of the novel and intriguing.)
Requiring a pet to prove his worthiness before being pierced or marked in any way reinforces his inclination to strive for perfection.
Men, as we all know, work best when put in the position to prove themselves.
This type of goal also weeds out the less-than-dedicated pets who cannot give up control or put total faith in an Owner.
The physical moment of piercing is a truly beautiful communion between pet and Owner, especially when it is approached with joy and the relief of a pet who has, all his life, striven to be owned.
Being exposed, being touched by another person in the presence of his Owner, being poked and prodded and CHANGED by someone as his Owner looks on - all of these aspects reinforce the fact that he is not in control.
How safe, secure, and blissful, no?
There is finality and peace following the pain, just like there is peace during the aftercare following a great session.
There is an ever-present addition to the pet's body that reassures him, with every step he takes, that he is never without the will of his Domme.
I am thrilled to be answering these questions, as I just had my favorite pet pierced (like this) 24 hours ago. It's the most beautiful placement of jewelry I think I've ever seen on a male body.
I'm a huge proponent of body modification, and have had the joy of watching a pet be tattooed with my mark. That process paled in comparison to piercing, in terms of sheer power and reaction of the pet.
I believe that piercing is the most elegant and efficient means to constantly remind pets that they are owned, utterly and completely.
With genital piercings especially, the constant reminder typically keeps them constantly aroused. They are on edge, in the most deliciously torturous of ways, and they always have their Mistress on the mind.
I believe that in piercing the cock of a slave you reinforce the fact that it does not belong to that person - it belongs totally and utterly to You, the Madame/Mistress/Domme. Every time he moves, pissess, thinks about touching himself, or becomes hard, he is reminded that he has been modified by his Owner.
The experience is one that can be worked towards, providing a goal for those pets who require constant tangible motivation. (There is nothing wrong with needing such motivation, as it keeps the imagination and body at peak performance in anticipation of the novel and intriguing.)
Requiring a pet to prove his worthiness before being pierced or marked in any way reinforces his inclination to strive for perfection.
Men, as we all know, work best when put in the position to prove themselves.
This type of goal also weeds out the less-than-dedicated pets who cannot give up control or put total faith in an Owner.
The physical moment of piercing is a truly beautiful communion between pet and Owner, especially when it is approached with joy and the relief of a pet who has, all his life, striven to be owned.
Being exposed, being touched by another person in the presence of his Owner, being poked and prodded and CHANGED by someone as his Owner looks on - all of these aspects reinforce the fact that he is not in control.
How safe, secure, and blissful, no?
There is finality and peace following the pain, just like there is peace during the aftercare following a great session.
There is an ever-present addition to the pet's body that reassures him, with every step he takes, that he is never without the will of his Domme.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Interview with the Madame for Crushtime
1. How did you get into the crush fetish?
I first learned about the fetish through a man with whom I was friends and who later became my SO. He would talk about his affinity for Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and would often engage me in exercises of mutual imagination in which we'd discuss the pros and cons of shrinking men/turning them into bugs/growing to the size of a giantess/stepping on cars with giant heeled shoes.
2. What do you most like about the art of crush?
If I had to choose my favorite aspect, it would have to be the process of unwrapping the sacrifices that are sent to me to crush - I love looking at and admiring the items, and thinking about their previous owners who loved, cherished, or even just enjoyed them. I very much enjoy knowing that the act of crushing them is merely a transfer of enjoyment. I am always sure to film the opening of sacrifices because I am always willing to share my enthusiasm and wickedness while I prepare to obliterate formerly treasured items. A close second is the first, well aimed, and carefully planned step, especially on items that are resilient and make a pop or crunch as they are flattened. That first, sharp POP of a model car is always supremely satisfying.
3. What are your favorite items to crush and why?
My favorite items to crush are model planes, musical instruments of great sentimental value, meticulously made origami, and diplomas.
4. What other types of fetishes do you indulge? I indulge a wide range of fetishes, from Giantess to Crush, CBT to Strapon, Humiliation to Mindfucking, Sadism, Bondage, Sissy Play, Worship/Goddess, and many, many others.
5. Do you get into the Giantess Fetish?
Absolutely. :-) I've written a few stories and done quite a bit of online RP. I certainly appreciate the imagination, inventiveness, and creativity of those for whom this fetish is a primary indulgence.
6. What are your favorite types of shoes to crush in?
I adore patent leather, and so black baby-doll or Mary Janes are always fun. The more exotic, however, the better. My long-time favorite are a pair of python pumps with tire-tread soles.
7. Do you prefer crushing barefoot or with shoes?
It really depends on the item being crushed. For fruits and vegetables I absolutely prefer bare feet - it's like a spa treatment! I love the texture of pulpy fruits between my toes, and my feet smell so delicious after each piece of fruit is reduced to mush. For harder items (everything non-organic) I enjoy wearing shoes. The great exception to this rule is paper - diplomas and origami are incredibly exciting to manipulate with my toes, so with those items I will typically crush in bare feet first, then use shoes to really mash and grind the objects.
8. What will you not crush?
I will not crush anything that has or had a pulse. Other than that, fair game.
8. What celebrity(s) would you like to work with?
I would adore to do a joint session, in any of my preferred niches, with Angelina Jolie. Her stigma, presence, beauty, and apparent intellect would make for an exciting collaboration. I would also very much enjoy speaking to Emma Thompson and helping her understand the intimacy of crush. Her feet are beautiful and everytime I see her striding out to meet Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing, I imagine her walking right over a few men in her anger.
9. If you were queen of the world what changes would you make?
Goodness, that's a loaded question. Without becoming too entrenched, I'd say overtake the Ag Giants and ensure ready availability of nutrition to every human being, make marijuana legal beyond medical use, global acceptance of gay marriage by law, increase the number of institutions that train and treat for work with the psychologically, mentally, and physically disabled, and eradicate all men who have raped, beaten, or otherwise tortured women (especially family members).
10. Why do you thinks it's important to indulge in one's fantasy's?
It is a basic human need. We want what we want, based on our wetware and our formative experiences. To deny and bury one's desires and fantasies is to deny one's self, to a certain extent. This denial and distancing from aspects of one's personality only leads to anger, resentment, and a general inability to be happy. Unhappiness breeds hatred. Unhappiness and discontent lead us to want others to suffer, as we suffer. Indulgence in fantasy, in a safe and sane manner, keeps us safe and sane and productive as members of the human race.
11. What's your favorite quote of all time?
Ha! Surely ye jest! There are many, but the one that springs to mind is from Dante's Purgatorio. Translation: Though Necessity be the source of every Love that flames within us, the power to curb that love is still our own.
12. What kind of movies/TV/music do you like?
I'm a huge fan of Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Star Trek TNG, Babylon 5, Law&Order SVU, NCIS, and Man vs. Food.
Musical tastes span from Samuel Barber to Avicii, with notable standouts: The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, Carl Orff, Antonin Dvorak, Etta James, Duke Ellington, The Civil Wars, Lady Gaga (live, acoustic with piano, bitte), and Linda Ronstadt.
I adore Black Swan and The Tree of Life, The Princess Bride, Sherlock Holmes and Snatch, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
13. What do you think is the most important event to take place in the last twenty years?
I believe the emergence of stem cell research would rank among the most important events of the past twenty years.
14. Which do you prefer Star Trek or Star Wars?
TOUGH question. It really depends on my mood. Curling up on the couch during the winter months with popcorn = Star Wars, IV, V, VI
Summer night, unwinding, beer in hand = Star Trek, preferably a Q episode.
15. What are some of your pet peeves?
Poor Hygiene, Bad Manners, Disrespect of time and personal space, Stinginess, and the absence of self control in those with whom I interact.
16. What do you like/hate the most?
Broad question... I like genuine conversation and detest flaky folk.
17. What is your idea of total happiness?
Total happiness = comfort and acceptance of self. My bliss comes from giving and receiving sincere love.
18. What can we expect from Madame Beatrice in the future?
More writing, more videos, more interaction with fans, and I am working toward the development of a conclave of minds that are dedicated to the education of all people on the subjects of Kink and Sexual Self Expression.
19. Do you have a new website or clips store on Clips for Sale.com?
madamebeatricedomination.com and thephilosophicaldomme.blogspot.com
20. Do you have any messages for your fans?
To thine own self be true.
Never judge another's proclivities, but strive for interpersonal awareness and acceptance.
I first learned about the fetish through a man with whom I was friends and who later became my SO. He would talk about his affinity for Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and would often engage me in exercises of mutual imagination in which we'd discuss the pros and cons of shrinking men/turning them into bugs/growing to the size of a giantess/stepping on cars with giant heeled shoes.
2. What do you most like about the art of crush?
If I had to choose my favorite aspect, it would have to be the process of unwrapping the sacrifices that are sent to me to crush - I love looking at and admiring the items, and thinking about their previous owners who loved, cherished, or even just enjoyed them. I very much enjoy knowing that the act of crushing them is merely a transfer of enjoyment. I am always sure to film the opening of sacrifices because I am always willing to share my enthusiasm and wickedness while I prepare to obliterate formerly treasured items. A close second is the first, well aimed, and carefully planned step, especially on items that are resilient and make a pop or crunch as they are flattened. That first, sharp POP of a model car is always supremely satisfying.
3. What are your favorite items to crush and why?
My favorite items to crush are model planes, musical instruments of great sentimental value, meticulously made origami, and diplomas.
4. What other types of fetishes do you indulge? I indulge a wide range of fetishes, from Giantess to Crush, CBT to Strapon, Humiliation to Mindfucking, Sadism, Bondage, Sissy Play, Worship/Goddess, and many, many others.
5. Do you get into the Giantess Fetish?
Absolutely. :-) I've written a few stories and done quite a bit of online RP. I certainly appreciate the imagination, inventiveness, and creativity of those for whom this fetish is a primary indulgence.
6. What are your favorite types of shoes to crush in?
I adore patent leather, and so black baby-doll or Mary Janes are always fun. The more exotic, however, the better. My long-time favorite are a pair of python pumps with tire-tread soles.
7. Do you prefer crushing barefoot or with shoes?
It really depends on the item being crushed. For fruits and vegetables I absolutely prefer bare feet - it's like a spa treatment! I love the texture of pulpy fruits between my toes, and my feet smell so delicious after each piece of fruit is reduced to mush. For harder items (everything non-organic) I enjoy wearing shoes. The great exception to this rule is paper - diplomas and origami are incredibly exciting to manipulate with my toes, so with those items I will typically crush in bare feet first, then use shoes to really mash and grind the objects.
8. What will you not crush?
I will not crush anything that has or had a pulse. Other than that, fair game.
8. What celebrity(s) would you like to work with?
I would adore to do a joint session, in any of my preferred niches, with Angelina Jolie. Her stigma, presence, beauty, and apparent intellect would make for an exciting collaboration. I would also very much enjoy speaking to Emma Thompson and helping her understand the intimacy of crush. Her feet are beautiful and everytime I see her striding out to meet Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing, I imagine her walking right over a few men in her anger.
9. If you were queen of the world what changes would you make?
Goodness, that's a loaded question. Without becoming too entrenched, I'd say overtake the Ag Giants and ensure ready availability of nutrition to every human being, make marijuana legal beyond medical use, global acceptance of gay marriage by law, increase the number of institutions that train and treat for work with the psychologically, mentally, and physically disabled, and eradicate all men who have raped, beaten, or otherwise tortured women (especially family members).
10. Why do you thinks it's important to indulge in one's fantasy's?
It is a basic human need. We want what we want, based on our wetware and our formative experiences. To deny and bury one's desires and fantasies is to deny one's self, to a certain extent. This denial and distancing from aspects of one's personality only leads to anger, resentment, and a general inability to be happy. Unhappiness breeds hatred. Unhappiness and discontent lead us to want others to suffer, as we suffer. Indulgence in fantasy, in a safe and sane manner, keeps us safe and sane and productive as members of the human race.
11. What's your favorite quote of all time?
Ha! Surely ye jest! There are many, but the one that springs to mind is from Dante's Purgatorio. Translation: Though Necessity be the source of every Love that flames within us, the power to curb that love is still our own.
12. What kind of movies/TV/music do you like?
I'm a huge fan of Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Star Trek TNG, Babylon 5, Law&Order SVU, NCIS, and Man vs. Food.
Musical tastes span from Samuel Barber to Avicii, with notable standouts: The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, Carl Orff, Antonin Dvorak, Etta James, Duke Ellington, The Civil Wars, Lady Gaga (live, acoustic with piano, bitte), and Linda Ronstadt.
I adore Black Swan and The Tree of Life, The Princess Bride, Sherlock Holmes and Snatch, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
13. What do you think is the most important event to take place in the last twenty years?
I believe the emergence of stem cell research would rank among the most important events of the past twenty years.
14. Which do you prefer Star Trek or Star Wars?
TOUGH question. It really depends on my mood. Curling up on the couch during the winter months with popcorn = Star Wars, IV, V, VI
Summer night, unwinding, beer in hand = Star Trek, preferably a Q episode.
15. What are some of your pet peeves?
Poor Hygiene, Bad Manners, Disrespect of time and personal space, Stinginess, and the absence of self control in those with whom I interact.
16. What do you like/hate the most?
Broad question... I like genuine conversation and detest flaky folk.
17. What is your idea of total happiness?
Total happiness = comfort and acceptance of self. My bliss comes from giving and receiving sincere love.
18. What can we expect from Madame Beatrice in the future?
More writing, more videos, more interaction with fans, and I am working toward the development of a conclave of minds that are dedicated to the education of all people on the subjects of Kink and Sexual Self Expression.
19. Do you have a new website or clips store on Clips for Sale.com?
madamebeatricedomination.com and thephilosophicaldomme.blogspot.com
20. Do you have any messages for your fans?
To thine own self be true.
Never judge another's proclivities, but strive for interpersonal awareness and acceptance.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
A Call for Change and Determination
As Dommes, subs, Kinksters, fetishists, sexual beings, human beings, lovers, and professionals, we cannot stop at pleasure.
We cannot stop at the exchange of touch and sensation.
We have to move farther.
We have to think bigger.
We have to come together, as a community, not merely in a communal search for partners and those with whom we can play, but as whole persons - productive members of society who are capable of carrying the dialogue of BDSM and its benefits beyond the secrecy of our respective bedrooms.
I see and hear and have experienced so many stories of individuals who felt despair and fear as a result of their proclivities. Whether because they did not know how to find what they needed or because they entrusted those needs to men and women who were either malicious or uninterested in truly providing a safe, sane, and consensual atmosphere, they found only questions and doubt instead of fulfillment.
This trend of fear must be put to an end.
I have an idea.
It's just a seed, right now.
It has the potential to grow.
I want to find all the professionals, all those with education, experience, articulation, and interest in bettering the world for ALL of us.
I want to find community leaders, those who believe they have the capacity and ability to change the atmosphere of secrecy in a Vanilla world.
I want to begin the process of developing safe havens, centers for education, truly productive associations that are not based on hedonism alone or recovery alone, but where ALL who wish to learn and grow in their BDSM/Kink lives can do so as WHOLE PERSONS.
My background is in Speech Pathology. My work in the medical field informs my work as a ProDomme EVERY day. The compassion and analysis I brought form that field to this are integral to my work and cannot be denied as factors that inform my interaction with clients and students.
We cannot continue to live in a world where our sexual preferences defines us and keeps us closeted.
It is not an option. We have to pool our mental resources.
We have to apply the creativity present in our sex lives to our everyday lives in order to make the two sides harmonious.
The separation must end.
We cannot stop at the exchange of touch and sensation.
We have to move farther.
We have to think bigger.
We have to come together, as a community, not merely in a communal search for partners and those with whom we can play, but as whole persons - productive members of society who are capable of carrying the dialogue of BDSM and its benefits beyond the secrecy of our respective bedrooms.
I see and hear and have experienced so many stories of individuals who felt despair and fear as a result of their proclivities. Whether because they did not know how to find what they needed or because they entrusted those needs to men and women who were either malicious or uninterested in truly providing a safe, sane, and consensual atmosphere, they found only questions and doubt instead of fulfillment.
This trend of fear must be put to an end.
I have an idea.
It's just a seed, right now.
It has the potential to grow.
I want to find all the professionals, all those with education, experience, articulation, and interest in bettering the world for ALL of us.
I want to find community leaders, those who believe they have the capacity and ability to change the atmosphere of secrecy in a Vanilla world.
I want to begin the process of developing safe havens, centers for education, truly productive associations that are not based on hedonism alone or recovery alone, but where ALL who wish to learn and grow in their BDSM/Kink lives can do so as WHOLE PERSONS.
My background is in Speech Pathology. My work in the medical field informs my work as a ProDomme EVERY day. The compassion and analysis I brought form that field to this are integral to my work and cannot be denied as factors that inform my interaction with clients and students.
We cannot continue to live in a world where our sexual preferences defines us and keeps us closeted.
It is not an option. We have to pool our mental resources.
We have to apply the creativity present in our sex lives to our everyday lives in order to make the two sides harmonious.
The separation must end.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Curvaceous Dommes and the Comfort Effect
"i wanted share with YOU one phenomena about me that i believe i share with many other subs:
The desired ideal FEMALE figure for worshiping and to be controlled by is totally not the common "most sexy" FEMALE type.
In various magazines the "most sexy" female will be a model in her 20's: tall, slender, perfect smile etc... i [find that] not attractive at all.
For me, a girl in her 20's cannot be a divine GODDESS. the ideal GODDESS will be in her 30-50's, [with a] strong look and feminine figure.
i wonder, what are the roots for these different views?"
An excellent observation, and also an excellent question.
I agree with this submissive in that, in my experience, it has been a complaint of most IRL clients that their former Dommes were "strippers with whips" or some other phrase that clearly indicated these women were in great shape, but talentless. Heretofore, I had dismissed it as merely a dig at their talent with implements, but now, I'm reconsidering: could it be that the dig is also aimed at their less than curvaceous bodies? Is this dig also ageist?
It makes sense, as we break down the common goal of a session with a Pro: the client is seeking comfort.
He's seeking sensation and security and hopefully some great recovery time in which a bit of holding is involved; an embrace to keep in his memory as he walks out the door.
I have never encountered a man who wanted me to be thinner. That embrace, that presence, that feeling of security - all have been reinforced by my curves. My breasts, legs, and backside are all soft, curvaceous, and inviting. Dominance does not negate the lush nature of a woman's body, nor should those who are Dommes believe that they have to turn into ice cold bitches in every situation. Let's face it, Dommes and subs, there's a HUGE desire for the MommyDommy experience. And there's NOTHING wrong with that.
MommyDommy, for those who have never heard me use it, is a pseudo-derogatory term that most people use when describing what I call a Comfort Domme, Courtesan Domme, or Sensual Domme. These Dommes don't focus on pain or humiliation, but rather on providing an environment in which they take control, but in an inescapably gentle way. They call the shots, but they also keep their subs in a state of total security. Control is wielded much like an alpha female mother: with total conviction, a solid plan in place, and with a high degree of physical shows of affection.
If the Domme is quite young (early twenties) and very slim (size 4/under), her physical appearance may not signal that same level of comfort and security as an older (30 -50 yr old) Domme can supply just by walking in the room.
Younger women's appearance may signal to the client's brain: "uh-oh, too young...she hasn't been doing this very long, so how do I know she'll be any good?"
Even the chance of the Domme not knowing what she's doing can put off many potential clients. No one wants to be Topped by a newb.
I believe many submissive men enjoy a woman who is larger, curvier, and older because they want her to be bigger than their need and wiser than their stress: a Goddess who can rearrange sensation and bodily response in order to create a new subspace for her client.
The desired ideal FEMALE figure for worshiping and to be controlled by is totally not the common "most sexy" FEMALE type.
In various magazines the "most sexy" female will be a model in her 20's: tall, slender, perfect smile etc... i [find that] not attractive at all.
For me, a girl in her 20's cannot be a divine GODDESS. the ideal GODDESS will be in her 30-50's, [with a] strong look and feminine figure.
i wonder, what are the roots for these different views?"
An excellent observation, and also an excellent question.
I agree with this submissive in that, in my experience, it has been a complaint of most IRL clients that their former Dommes were "strippers with whips" or some other phrase that clearly indicated these women were in great shape, but talentless. Heretofore, I had dismissed it as merely a dig at their talent with implements, but now, I'm reconsidering: could it be that the dig is also aimed at their less than curvaceous bodies? Is this dig also ageist?
It makes sense, as we break down the common goal of a session with a Pro: the client is seeking comfort.
He's seeking sensation and security and hopefully some great recovery time in which a bit of holding is involved; an embrace to keep in his memory as he walks out the door.
I have never encountered a man who wanted me to be thinner. That embrace, that presence, that feeling of security - all have been reinforced by my curves. My breasts, legs, and backside are all soft, curvaceous, and inviting. Dominance does not negate the lush nature of a woman's body, nor should those who are Dommes believe that they have to turn into ice cold bitches in every situation. Let's face it, Dommes and subs, there's a HUGE desire for the MommyDommy experience. And there's NOTHING wrong with that.
MommyDommy, for those who have never heard me use it, is a pseudo-derogatory term that most people use when describing what I call a Comfort Domme, Courtesan Domme, or Sensual Domme. These Dommes don't focus on pain or humiliation, but rather on providing an environment in which they take control, but in an inescapably gentle way. They call the shots, but they also keep their subs in a state of total security. Control is wielded much like an alpha female mother: with total conviction, a solid plan in place, and with a high degree of physical shows of affection.
If the Domme is quite young (early twenties) and very slim (size 4/under), her physical appearance may not signal that same level of comfort and security as an older (30 -50 yr old) Domme can supply just by walking in the room.
Younger women's appearance may signal to the client's brain: "uh-oh, too young...she hasn't been doing this very long, so how do I know she'll be any good?"
Even the chance of the Domme not knowing what she's doing can put off many potential clients. No one wants to be Topped by a newb.
I believe many submissive men enjoy a woman who is larger, curvier, and older because they want her to be bigger than their need and wiser than their stress: a Goddess who can rearrange sensation and bodily response in order to create a new subspace for her client.
What Happens in L.A. Needs to Happen Everywhere
When a Dominatrix born and bred in the Midwest takes a cross continental flight from Buffalo to L.A.,
she realizes her potential.
I showed up in L.A. ready to go to a wedding and do a little teaching with a fantastic Domina who is finding her feet in the shaky ground of D/s. I figured it would be a few long naps, an intense double session, a wonderful wedding/reception, and then home again home again, jiggty jig.
Instead, it turned into a journey that focused, primarily, on healing.
I got to the hotel around 9 pm. I was on Century Blvd. I didn't know where to park. I knew, with absolute certainty, that I needed a cigarette.
So, I smoked, I got my luggage, and walked through the barb-wired, barred-windowed, slightly more than sketchy neighborhood that housed the Adventurer.
True story, that was the name of the hotel.
I wasn't even supposed to be there.
I'd tried to make plans to stay with a friend of the bride.
They fell through the same day as I flew out.
So there I was, walking up to the doors and wondering what in thunderfuck I'd do for three nights in a Hostel in LA.
It turns out, I'd been sent on a mission, both by Serendipity and Bacchus. I hear those two have a pretty torrid thing going on. The ripple effect is outstanding.
Without turning this story into the full screenplay it deserves I will summarize:
I flogged men in public with a martini in hand, laughing at the top of my lungs while Van Morrison played dreamily in the background.
I waxed poetic after a touch too much green; I looked fantasy fully in the face.
I discussed why we all must learn as much as we can before purporting to be Dominant.
I groomed a man who was lost; I gave him permission to accept care.
I sang to a bride and groom while they sat and fed one another; I incited silliness and joy.
she realizes her potential.
I showed up in L.A. ready to go to a wedding and do a little teaching with a fantastic Domina who is finding her feet in the shaky ground of D/s. I figured it would be a few long naps, an intense double session, a wonderful wedding/reception, and then home again home again, jiggty jig.
Instead, it turned into a journey that focused, primarily, on healing.
I got to the hotel around 9 pm. I was on Century Blvd. I didn't know where to park. I knew, with absolute certainty, that I needed a cigarette.
So, I smoked, I got my luggage, and walked through the barb-wired, barred-windowed, slightly more than sketchy neighborhood that housed the Adventurer.
True story, that was the name of the hotel.
I wasn't even supposed to be there.
I'd tried to make plans to stay with a friend of the bride.
They fell through the same day as I flew out.
So there I was, walking up to the doors and wondering what in thunderfuck I'd do for three nights in a Hostel in LA.
It turns out, I'd been sent on a mission, both by Serendipity and Bacchus. I hear those two have a pretty torrid thing going on. The ripple effect is outstanding.
Without turning this story into the full screenplay it deserves I will summarize:
I flogged men in public with a martini in hand, laughing at the top of my lungs while Van Morrison played dreamily in the background.
I waxed poetic after a touch too much green; I looked fantasy fully in the face.
I discussed why we all must learn as much as we can before purporting to be Dominant.
I groomed a man who was lost; I gave him permission to accept care.
I sang to a bride and groom while they sat and fed one another; I incited silliness and joy.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Never Disrespect a ProDomme - There Are No Second Chances
It is my professional and personal policy to maintain open and clear communication at all times.
I regularly send "check in" emails or "debriefing" emails to clients following initial sessions to ensure that their comfort and boundaries are intact, and maintain that communication throughout the professional relationship.
I make it a priority to encourage clients to voice concerns in a courteous and open manner. As a friend from the Twitterverse so aptly stated, "[...]informing someone is a common courtesy. Not extending common courtesy to someone usually requiring UNcommon courtesy is a disrespectful move."
My time, my attention, and my skill are all far too valuable to waste upon clients who do not understand the heightened respect and courtesy that must be used during all interaction.
When I am met with disrespect by persons who waste my time, it does nothing but incur my wrath.
There are no second chances, with me: if you waste my time, that time is no longer available to you.
And so, to any and all who interact with Dommes on a professional level, I say to you:
If you have qualms, voice them.
If you are uncomfortable, speak up.
If you no longer wish to communicate or session, inform your Domme as soon as possible.
Do not hide trepidation.
Do not disappear without notice.
Do not sever ties without explanation.
DO NOT refuse or fail to make payment for services rendered, in a professional setting.
Disrespect is NEVER an option.
I regularly send "check in" emails or "debriefing" emails to clients following initial sessions to ensure that their comfort and boundaries are intact, and maintain that communication throughout the professional relationship.
I make it a priority to encourage clients to voice concerns in a courteous and open manner. As a friend from the Twitterverse so aptly stated, "[...]informing someone is a common courtesy. Not extending common courtesy to someone usually requiring UNcommon courtesy is a disrespectful move."
When I am met with disrespect by persons who waste my time, it does nothing but incur my wrath.
There are no second chances, with me: if you waste my time, that time is no longer available to you.
And so, to any and all who interact with Dommes on a professional level, I say to you:
If you have qualms, voice them.
If you are uncomfortable, speak up.
If you no longer wish to communicate or session, inform your Domme as soon as possible.
Do not hide trepidation.
Do not disappear without notice.
Do not sever ties without explanation.
DO NOT refuse or fail to make payment for services rendered, in a professional setting.
Disrespect is NEVER an option.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
"What makes Foot Fetish scenes exciting, for You?"
"Madame, I have seen your recent pictures on Twitter, and I adore your feet, especially in heels. Can you please tell me what You think of Foot Fetishism, and if You enjoy it?"
Foot/shoe fetishism, whether gentle foot worship or sadistic gagging with perfectly manicured toes and a long slick heel, is thrilling to me on three levels.
First, I adore the visual of men on their knees, staring down at my feet, looking as subservient and eager as they can.
I love watching their mouths open, their breath come quickly, and their foreheads begin to sweat as I cross and uncross my legs or ankles.
I adore seeing the anticipation overwhelm their minds.
Merely watching a footslut stare at my feet, shod or unshod, could keep me entertained for hours.
I mean that.
The pure excitement, the need, the hunger - it appeals to me on every level.
From a very young age I was enamored of the thought of men kissing my feet and worshipping me in general - the first time a man ever kissed the arch of my foot as I sat at a bar, I nearly burst with excitement.
Second, I find that many men with foot/shoe fetishes are far more cerebral in their kinks.
What I mean by that is, on average, the men who approach me for foot domination and shoe/boot related scenes have specific desires and are willing to share their stories with me.
They want me to understand why they love what they love - and I'm always eager to know their reasons.
Foot worship, and worship of any kind, allows me to get into the ceremony of a session; it allows me to build the atmosphere of charismatic worship and charismatic entrancement; it becomes a pseudo-religious experience because there is such intense structure and focus and total devotion to the idea of the submissive placing himself at my feet and worshipping my feet and the shoes that adorn them.
Third, there are few other fetishes that approach the pure form of submission shown in getting down on the floor and begging merely to kiss the foot of a Domme.
It is erotic to see men physically put themselves beneath me.
It is empowering and affirming for me to see men who are able to embrace their needs in such an overt way.
There is no dissembling; there is no hiding; there is no posturing.
They are beneath me, in every sense of the word, and they love it.
Foot Fetishists, you make this Domme exceedingly happy, and I find your requests incredibly exciting.
Keep them coming!
Foot/shoe fetishism, whether gentle foot worship or sadistic gagging with perfectly manicured toes and a long slick heel, is thrilling to me on three levels.
First, I adore the visual of men on their knees, staring down at my feet, looking as subservient and eager as they can.
I love watching their mouths open, their breath come quickly, and their foreheads begin to sweat as I cross and uncross my legs or ankles.
I adore seeing the anticipation overwhelm their minds.
Merely watching a footslut stare at my feet, shod or unshod, could keep me entertained for hours.
I mean that.
The pure excitement, the need, the hunger - it appeals to me on every level.
From a very young age I was enamored of the thought of men kissing my feet and worshipping me in general - the first time a man ever kissed the arch of my foot as I sat at a bar, I nearly burst with excitement.
Second, I find that many men with foot/shoe fetishes are far more cerebral in their kinks.
What I mean by that is, on average, the men who approach me for foot domination and shoe/boot related scenes have specific desires and are willing to share their stories with me.
They want me to understand why they love what they love - and I'm always eager to know their reasons.
Foot worship, and worship of any kind, allows me to get into the ceremony of a session; it allows me to build the atmosphere of charismatic worship and charismatic entrancement; it becomes a pseudo-religious experience because there is such intense structure and focus and total devotion to the idea of the submissive placing himself at my feet and worshipping my feet and the shoes that adorn them.
Third, there are few other fetishes that approach the pure form of submission shown in getting down on the floor and begging merely to kiss the foot of a Domme.
It is erotic to see men physically put themselves beneath me.
It is empowering and affirming for me to see men who are able to embrace their needs in such an overt way.
There is no dissembling; there is no hiding; there is no posturing.
They are beneath me, in every sense of the word, and they love it.
Foot Fetishists, you make this Domme exceedingly happy, and I find your requests incredibly exciting.
Keep them coming!
Monday, October 7, 2013
"Forced Bisexual Activity - Is it an option for Your submissives, as a ProDomme?"
"my question is around forced bi activity.
for me the highest level of trust is to do for your MISTRESS thing that you didn't think you will ever do and when you trust her, every barrier is crossed without hesitation.
how difficult is to make sub having homosexual activity if he is not naturally BI sexual? is it something YOU will recommend to most Mistress and subs?"
IMPORTANT NOTE: This question is being asked in the context of TPE (total power exchange) in which the submissive male has willingly and with full understanding given a Dominant Female power to choose his sexual partners. There is no sexual abuse, rape, or non-consensual interaction.
So, we're discussing the "forcing of bisexual activity" on a straight sub, as part of instruction in a TPE relationship with his Mistress.
The fluidity of force, such as the kind present in TPE, inherently implies the opposite of force, which is willing consent.
The submissive male has WILLINGLY CONSENTED to give up the right to refuse his Mistress.
He has actively informed her that he wishes to be "forced" to do things outside of his current comfort zone.
This shows a remarkably beautiful level of trust in the Dominant Female to push limits with the utmost responsibility.
The activity described is not a game.
It is not roleplaying.
It is a Dominant Woman ordering a submissive male to engage with another male, sexually.
There are several possible purposes for this activity:
The first being to cement the submissive male's total devotion and trust in his Mistress by placing him in a situation where he must choose either his own desires or those of his Madame. (However, as with any TPE, it is the great irony that the submissive's desire IS to please the Madame, and so he must, naturally, enjoy doing whatever he is told to do, even if the activity is not one he would EVER engage in outside of his servitude to the Mistress.)
The second possible purpose is to create a scene in which a submissive male can have the freedom to explore sexual interaction with another male. So many men have been programmed and conditioned to believe that this type of sexual experimentation is so wrong, so foul, and so indicative of weakness that they require the presence of a Female Dominant to literally give them permission to explore other men.
The third possible purpose is to delve into one of the most extreme forms of sexual humiliation possible, for truly straight submissive men. For those who crave total and abject humiliation, being told to sexually please another man for the enjoyment of their Mistress is the ultimate experience in exploitation and humiliation.
I do not recommend this activity to most Mistresses or Their subs because this is a dynamic that can be realized by only the most intelligent, considerate, aware, and experienced Dommes.
It takes many months (and possibly years) of interaction, in my opinion, to build a D/s relationship to the level of trust at which a truly heterosexual submissive male could safely/sanely be commanded to sexually please another man for the Mistress.
With all safety and consent in place, the potential for pleasure during a ForcedBi scene is off the charts, for all parties involved.
I have enacted such a scene with a long-term submissive and one of his close friends, after weeks of discussion and preparation.
The two men were both interested in each other and both found a huge amount of release in being instructed to touch and be touched. Being given permission was the greatest aphrodisiac, to both of them, and the power I so clearly had over them was mind-blowingly erotic.
I highly encourage anyone considering ForcedBi play to be open, honest, and exploratory in their conversations with their Mistresses/partners.
Go forth, and be Kinky!
IMPORTANT NOTE: This question is being asked in the context of TPE (total power exchange) in which the submissive male has willingly and with full understanding given a Dominant Female power to choose his sexual partners. There is no sexual abuse, rape, or non-consensual interaction.
So, we're discussing the "forcing of bisexual activity" on a straight sub, as part of instruction in a TPE relationship with his Mistress.
The fluidity of force, such as the kind present in TPE, inherently implies the opposite of force, which is willing consent.
The submissive male has WILLINGLY CONSENTED to give up the right to refuse his Mistress.
He has actively informed her that he wishes to be "forced" to do things outside of his current comfort zone.
This shows a remarkably beautiful level of trust in the Dominant Female to push limits with the utmost responsibility.
The activity described is not a game.
It is not roleplaying.
It is a Dominant Woman ordering a submissive male to engage with another male, sexually.
There are several possible purposes for this activity:
The first being to cement the submissive male's total devotion and trust in his Mistress by placing him in a situation where he must choose either his own desires or those of his Madame. (However, as with any TPE, it is the great irony that the submissive's desire IS to please the Madame, and so he must, naturally, enjoy doing whatever he is told to do, even if the activity is not one he would EVER engage in outside of his servitude to the Mistress.)
The second possible purpose is to create a scene in which a submissive male can have the freedom to explore sexual interaction with another male. So many men have been programmed and conditioned to believe that this type of sexual experimentation is so wrong, so foul, and so indicative of weakness that they require the presence of a Female Dominant to literally give them permission to explore other men.
The third possible purpose is to delve into one of the most extreme forms of sexual humiliation possible, for truly straight submissive men. For those who crave total and abject humiliation, being told to sexually please another man for the enjoyment of their Mistress is the ultimate experience in exploitation and humiliation.
I do not recommend this activity to most Mistresses or Their subs because this is a dynamic that can be realized by only the most intelligent, considerate, aware, and experienced Dommes.
It takes many months (and possibly years) of interaction, in my opinion, to build a D/s relationship to the level of trust at which a truly heterosexual submissive male could safely/sanely be commanded to sexually please another man for the Mistress.
With all safety and consent in place, the potential for pleasure during a ForcedBi scene is off the charts, for all parties involved.
I have enacted such a scene with a long-term submissive and one of his close friends, after weeks of discussion and preparation.
The two men were both interested in each other and both found a huge amount of release in being instructed to touch and be touched. Being given permission was the greatest aphrodisiac, to both of them, and the power I so clearly had over them was mind-blowingly erotic.
I highly encourage anyone considering ForcedBi play to be open, honest, and exploratory in their conversations with their Mistresses/partners.
Go forth, and be Kinky!
Friday, October 4, 2013
"What do you think of the word 'slut'?"
"What do you think of the word, 'slut,' Madame?"
Ok - this may be rant-worthy.
Get a beverage, relax, and prepare accordingly.
Let's start with an initial reaction:
I love the word slut.
I love the way it slides through my teeth, rolls off my tongue, and cracks off my hard palate.
Sssssss-llllll-uT.
It snaps a sub's head around, when uttered out of nowhere.
It makes men blush, when they hear it applied to them, for the first time, and then they blush even more deeply when they realize it's a compliment.
Slut.
It tastes good, it feels good, and it is visceral in its sound.
You cannot say it gently.
You cannot sugar coat it.
Slut.
It's a damn fine title, and a delicious way to tell a pet exactly how proud you are of their overt sexual need.
Now that I've gotten my excited self out of the way, let's look at this word in a different context.
Slut.
I've been called this, by an attacker.
Slut.
I've heard it said in disgusted whispers by women who wish they could let go of their Puritanical hang ups, but instead simply look down on those who have let go.
Slut.
I've heard dozens upon dozens of women tell me that an attacker/abuser used this word to demean her; used this word as justification for hurting her; used this word to label her as someone who deserved rape.
There's no denying it - in the vanilla world, in most of the world, this word is not used as a compliment.
It's used to keep sexual women, or anyone else who does not conform to strict notions of sexual propriety, in a tidy little four letter box of shame.
I say, fuck that.
Fuck. That. Noise.
I say, slut is a fantastic word that needs to be reworked, overhauled, and taken back.
I am, by no means, the first nor the last person to say this.
I'm not saying that women should parade about and happily proclaim that they are sluts, because, frankly, out of play, the word doesn't carry positive mojo.
We can't use what we don't yet own - so easy on wearing shirts that say slut to the club - it will probably not work in your favor.
Is this ok? No. You should be able to wear whatever you damn well please, but I'm living in the real world where wearing a shirt with SLUT printed across the boobs will garner you either multiple gropings or some serious shit talking, neither of which I would enjoy on a night out.
But hey, if you want to do it anyway, I salute your fortitude and hope you get out there and change some minds!
But back to the happy place of slut.
(Sssssssssssslut)
I can't help but imagine one of my clients, on all fours, drooling with a plug in his ass, shit-eating grin on his face, looking up at me and positively BEAMING when I call him a slut, and say it with a smile and a pat on the head.
He's earned that title.
He's earned it by allowing himself to ENJOY his sexuality.
He's earned it by not giving two tenths of a shit about what society may have to say, regarding his personal proclivities.
I think of a young woman who learned how to enjoy the word slut during sessions:
How she would blush at first when it was used, but then worked harder to earn the right to hear that title.
Who let go of her embarrassment, poor body image, and insecurities and LOVED HERSELF enough to get slutty, which really just means getting free.
In the end, Slut, to me, is a wonderful word because it means that the submissive has let go, entirely, and has asked, begged for, and enjoyed what they need, and done so without reservation.
Let us be proud of our submissive sluts - and let's never shame those who responsibly reach that level of freedom.
Ok - this may be rant-worthy.
Get a beverage, relax, and prepare accordingly.
Let's start with an initial reaction:
I love the word slut.
I love the way it slides through my teeth, rolls off my tongue, and cracks off my hard palate.
Sssssss-llllll-uT.
It snaps a sub's head around, when uttered out of nowhere.
It makes men blush, when they hear it applied to them, for the first time, and then they blush even more deeply when they realize it's a compliment.
Slut.
It tastes good, it feels good, and it is visceral in its sound.
You cannot say it gently.
You cannot sugar coat it.
Slut.
It's a damn fine title, and a delicious way to tell a pet exactly how proud you are of their overt sexual need.
Now that I've gotten my excited self out of the way, let's look at this word in a different context.
Slut.
I've been called this, by an attacker.
Slut.
I've heard it said in disgusted whispers by women who wish they could let go of their Puritanical hang ups, but instead simply look down on those who have let go.
Slut.
I've heard dozens upon dozens of women tell me that an attacker/abuser used this word to demean her; used this word as justification for hurting her; used this word to label her as someone who deserved rape.
There's no denying it - in the vanilla world, in most of the world, this word is not used as a compliment.
It's used to keep sexual women, or anyone else who does not conform to strict notions of sexual propriety, in a tidy little four letter box of shame.
I say, fuck that.
Fuck. That. Noise.
I say, slut is a fantastic word that needs to be reworked, overhauled, and taken back.
I am, by no means, the first nor the last person to say this.
I'm not saying that women should parade about and happily proclaim that they are sluts, because, frankly, out of play, the word doesn't carry positive mojo.
We can't use what we don't yet own - so easy on wearing shirts that say slut to the club - it will probably not work in your favor.
Is this ok? No. You should be able to wear whatever you damn well please, but I'm living in the real world where wearing a shirt with SLUT printed across the boobs will garner you either multiple gropings or some serious shit talking, neither of which I would enjoy on a night out.
But hey, if you want to do it anyway, I salute your fortitude and hope you get out there and change some minds!
But back to the happy place of slut.
(Sssssssssssslut)
I can't help but imagine one of my clients, on all fours, drooling with a plug in his ass, shit-eating grin on his face, looking up at me and positively BEAMING when I call him a slut, and say it with a smile and a pat on the head.
He's earned that title.
He's earned it by allowing himself to ENJOY his sexuality.
He's earned it by not giving two tenths of a shit about what society may have to say, regarding his personal proclivities.
I think of a young woman who learned how to enjoy the word slut during sessions:
How she would blush at first when it was used, but then worked harder to earn the right to hear that title.
Who let go of her embarrassment, poor body image, and insecurities and LOVED HERSELF enough to get slutty, which really just means getting free.
In the end, Slut, to me, is a wonderful word because it means that the submissive has let go, entirely, and has asked, begged for, and enjoyed what they need, and done so without reservation.
Let us be proud of our submissive sluts - and let's never shame those who responsibly reach that level of freedom.
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