Male Chastity Day: Establish Total Ownership & Give Him the Gift of Control

Today, when so many are reeling from the emotional rollercoaster/Armageddon of Valentine's Day, we must not forget the ACTUAL importance of February 15th.

That's right.

It's Male Chastity Day!

Such a glorious day, don't you think? Dedicated solely to the practice of locking up cocks on submissive men in order to bring control, calm, and caged bliss to their horny lives.

Because the cock is such a fickle, needful, inconvenient, and downright impatient beast, it clearly needs to be treated like a child with bad behavior: it needs to be given boundaries.
It needs structure.
It needs rules.
And it needs them NOW.

Today, assess your husband/boyfriend/submissive and ask yourself this question: is it time for Me, as a Dominant, to exert My total control over his cock?
The answer, of course, is a resounding YES.

How can we, the ones in a position of power and control, claim to be giving our submissives the restraint and Dominance they crave if we let their cocks, masturbation habits, and ability to cum run free?
We cannot claim it at all when chastity is not being implemented.

Now, before there are cries of "but that's so much WORK!" remember this - being a Dominant IS work. Get that set in your mind and embrace it, or get out of the lifestyle.

On to the fun stuff!

Caging

Caging is, of course, the most lauded and publicly recognized form of chastity within circles who implement the practice. There is a solid, locked, inescapable restriction put on men by their keyholders from which they cannot escape without explicit release from the Dominant who has the key to any given device.

There are so many choices for devices, which makes it fun to shop, select, and try on various options with submissives. There is a certain learning curve with sizing and determining practicality across various lifestyles, but it is, overall, an exciting step for any D/s couple trying out the practice, and can be an immensely important bonding activity for trust building and, of course, foreplay.

This method provides visual, tactile, and psychological appeal because it is so PRESENT.
A sub, in the beginning stages, will feel the constant constriction and physical reminder that their dick is no longer a toy that belongs to them. The magical moment is when a submissive male realizes...oh my Goddess...being caged...feels GOOD.

They will begin to crave the cage, feel safe within the cage, and positively LOVE the cage.


Psychologically Enforced Chastity or The Honor System

A level up, of course, is mental chastity implemented through sheer psychological ownership.
This type of chastity is only for those D/s relationships where honesty and total obedience are unquestioned, and in which the Dominant can devote larger amounts of time and effort to chastity training.

It's no easy thing to trust a submissive to not touch themselves based on the honor system, and it requires months, if not years, of training to instill total obedience and the ability for them to resist their urge to masturbate based on a need to please you, the Dominant.

The process also requires constant encouragement, reward systems, and positive verbal reminders of how much the submissive is pleasing you, his Dominant, by remaining chaste.

Creating an atmosphere in which rewards are centered on giving the Dominant pleasure, arousing his body and mind through activities other than sex, and teaching him that arousal does not inherently guarantee, nor should always include, orgasm = three techniques that play a large part in honor-system chastity training.

Take it from Me: the knowledge that your submissive is enthralled to your will and has overcome his pubescent masturbatory habits in order to please YOU is an enormously rewarding payoff.


This Valentine's Weekend, take back Control - and lock up that cock in a cage or the vice of your own deliciously Dominant and deviant will!

Kinky Foreplay - It's Not What You Think

When gearing up for D/s style play time, most novices/uninitiated envision lots of name-calling, spanking, orders being barked, and a healthy dose of leather.

It's what main-stream media and the vanilla music industry have taught you to think of when considering BDSM, Kink, or D/s interaction.

But here's the secret: D/s doesn't have to start roughly.
Sadistic Dominants are pre-programmed to want to manipulate and mark your beautiful flesh from the first second they get you on their floor/bed/bench/examining table, true.
But those who know what they are doing will start sessions in a far different fashion.

I, as a Dominant woman, prefer to savor, tease, test, and sample a blindfolded and bound submissive before I proceed with the high intensity play.

I enjoy examining, grooming, touching, tasting, kissing, and massaging my sweet and willing supplicants - because it turns me on.

Oh, you thought it was for their benefit?
I admit, it is, partially.
It gets their bodies on edge, their sensory receptors at maximum readiness.
However, I do what I do to those who submit under my touch because I love to play with my prey.

And, as a happily confirmed Sadist, I consider a submissive to be my most delicious prey.

I want to touch each appendage, I want to inspect my toy, I want to soothe and titillate the submissive before I start delivering the loving blows of my crop, whip, or paddle.

Dominants, never underestimate the joy of pampering a sub. Simply putting lotion or oil (depending on Your/their preferences) on the skin and gently rubbing it in can set a male or female submissive shaking with pleasure. Alternate with the wartenberg wheel to keep them from getting too mellowed and comfortable, and watch how they twitch and squirm in anticipation.

Showing attention and affection, while visually drinking in their prone (hopefully naked!) bodies ensures that they know they are on display...and that they are safe.

Safely enjoyed exhibitionism. What submissive DOESN'T want to show off for his/her Dominant?
Give them this opportunity to please while being perfectly still, and their minds will begin to race.

Nothing gets the body ready for playtime like an over active imagination.

So, the moral of the story is this, for any Dominants who are skipping over the grand time honored tradition of guiding your submissives into the proper mindset for play-time:

Groom and tease your pets, and they will love you for it.

Training Heath: Teasing, Sensory Play, Sadism, and Deprivation

We all know what it means to tease and be teased.

It's foreplay, of the best sort. 

It revs the engines, signaling the body to prepare itself for pleasure, pain, and (if it's lucky) orgasm.

It puts us on edge, and makes every sensation seem that much more intense, from biting to licking to flogging - every touch, stroke, and lash is heightened in our mind's perception.

Teasing is essential when beginning the training of a male pet, and, really, a pet of any gender. 

For Heath, in particular, sending him images throughout the workday, leaving notes by the bathroom mirror, and generally creating an environment of sexual saturation in day-to-day activities keeps him on the edge of his proverbial seat and rock hard in his literal panties. 

However, teasing is never (and should never be) the goal. 

It must be used as an effective tool to train, teach, own, envelope, and entrance. 

Teasing shouldn't last for weeks - there must be some sort of release at the beginning. 

Leave the long-term chastity fantasies on the back burner, if you're just beginning with a new sub. 

Yes, the idea of keeping him from orgasm for months on end may seem fantastic, but it is neither prudent nor realistic to try and enforce such strictures from Day One.

We, as Dominant Women, must use our natural abilities to teach, lead, and control to mold our new and/or inexperienced pets into the ideal submissives that We (and they!) desire them to be.

In training my pet, Heath, I knew that I would need to start slowly, sensually, and with a great deal of sensory-based play (ranging from the gentle to the brutal). Each new experience needed to be introduced with great care.
I knew that psychological Domination must be at the fore - the whys and hows and what ifs would need to be engrained in him from the outset, both through outright instruction AND subliminal/hypnotic vocal techniques during sessions.

To the left you can see the first set of tools I used in his first training session, all obtained from, and made by, The Stockroom: mini flogger, Wartenberg wheel, leather mini slapper, and leather blindfold lined in lambs wool. All four items provide a sensory experience, ranging from biting to tickling to deprivation. Each afforded my pet an introduction to accepting sensation on its own merits, accepting Domination, and submitting to the enjoyment of receiving without "returning any favors."

For Heath, the act of simply accepting the gift of sensation, pain, and pleasure is quite a jump from normalcy to the unknown. He had to wrap his mind around the fact that I, his Dominant, LOVE sessioning with him, and that it is for my own enjoyment.

Once he understood that my sadistic mind got IMMENSE pleasure from spanking, flogging, biting, scratching, and teasing him, he was able to truly enjoy being the object of all that attention without feeling guilty.

In this picture, you can see the set up for his first OTK play with an implement, the slapper. I gave him my mirror to hold whilst being spanked so that he could see me, and, more importantly, see how much I was enjoying myself. This technique of visual reassurance is invaluable for the novice submissive being introduced to pain, and submission, in general.

However, as important as it was for him to have the ability to see me during spanking, sight is often the sense that gets in the way of a submissive's enjoyment. All too often they can lose their buzz by looking around, looking at themselves, and (potentially) becoming self conscious.
For men, especially, being visually distracted by the appearance of the Domme can override the intensely enjoyable physical sensations being delivered.

To enhance all other senses, simply remove sight from the equation. This leather blindfold fits very snugly, but also with total comfort. It allowed Heath to let go and feel EVERYTHING with total focus on the sensations being delivered to his body rather than focusing on me, my face, or anything else in the scene.

Another excellent aspect of sight deprivation is Surprise. Heath never knew what sensation was coming next. The wheel? Teeth? My hands? The flogger? Keeping him on edge kept him rock hard and leaking!

Stay tuned for next week's installment: Paddles, Canes, and Marking!

Back After More Shenanigans

Good morning to all of you, dear readers, wherever and whomever you may be!

I return after yet another adventure involving needles, speculums, and latex gloves - sadly, it was not a med-play convention, but rather another visit to the emergency room.

Hey, a girl can distract herself with happy thoughts, right?! Right.

In any event, I'm back, not much worse for the wear, and in the swing of holiday spirit here in my own little happy home/dungeon.

This Christmas is a very special one because it marks the beginning of my pet/Husband's training, in earnest. I went all out and spared no expense in obtaining a fine assortment of personal implements/pieces to both delight his very vivid but untapped proclivities and literally tickle his fancy in ways he's never even heard of until now.

Tickle, get it? Big-time tickle.

Needless to say, we're both quite excited. So excited, in fact, that we'll be documenting the finer highlights of his training in pictures and words, right here on the blog!

The series of posts will be part educational and part erotica, but ALL deliciously deviant in nature.

Here's to training the obedient and living our lives in the knowledge that we are afforded such little time in which to enjoy one another: Make all of it count!

Whore Enhancement through Chastity

I can think of no better way to control and enhance a whore and his/her natural disposition than to put him/her in chastity.

Consider the nature of a whore: sexual, needful, lustful, ever eager for more cock, more attention, and more input.
What better way to control a mind than to control its access to what it craves?

When too much sex is enjoyed by anyone, especially a whore, all sex becomes boring.
This type of tragedy must NOT be allowed to transpire, especially when a beloved whore, preferred pet, or promising sub is concerned.
Teach them the value of having to wait.
Teach their bodies the joy of delayed gratification.

The waiting and the restriction, when properly enforced alongside constant mental attention and engagement, will only whet their appetites and encourage greater obedience in the hope of receiving what they crave.

That constant mental engagement must be comprised of teasing.
Not generic teasing, not sporadic teasing, but focused and specifically tailored torture that will creep beneath the dura mater in the sub's mind and create a blanket of suggestion and titillation.

You have to care enough about your whore to make his mind your constant playground.

This is not a process to attempt by the novice Dominant or by someone who cannot commit a significant amount of attention to their submissive(s)/whore(s).

You will only succeed if you are adept at mind control and providing constant stimulation.

This does not mean you, personally, have to send them five million texts a day or be next to them, whispering in their ear or touching them.
Far from it.
You can do the obvious and put them in a chastity device.
They will feel the cage around them, all day, and fight with the feeling of arousal and inability to become erect.
You can enforce your will and make sure they are never without stimulation with daily assignments, stipulating the wearing of specific undergarments, or even piercing your pet to provide a constant sensory reminder that they are owned.

Hell, go for the gusto and have them wear lace panties over a newly pierced frenum.
I can tell you, it works like a charm: my favorite personal pet is never free of the constant feel of precum in his lacey boxer briefs.

Remember: creativity and consistency are key.
Make chastity the sexual and sensual experience it is meant to be, and your whore will be trained to perform at peak levels.
And they will love you, for it.

"How Do You Make a pet/sub/slave Feel Completely Owned?"

"Mme. - i am wondering how you make pets to feel owned? i am wondering for a long time how Women make men feel safe and [like] property."

After a bit of Tweeting back and forth last night, I received the above question in my inbox.

To begin, I applaud the phrasing and joint expression of safety and feeling like property.
To many (I'd imagine the majority) of men, it must seem like a contradiction in terms to feel safe BECAUSE you are property.
So many males will never know the security and peace afforded by letting go of the control to which they cling throughout the work day.
For submissive men, those who are enlightened and privy to the ecstatic release and calm bliss that accompanies being owned, this post may seem like one big "Duh!" moment.

Read it anyway: new perspective should never be ignored.

It is not considered acceptable in much of modern global society for men to feel the security enjoyed by women who are homemakers, stay at home wives, or stay at home mothers - that sense of security and being provided for by the person they happen to adore and trust with their daily well-being as they live productive lives within safe and secure walls.
(I do not, in any way, propose that the means to making pets feel owned is by throwing money at them and inviting them into your home to live with you.)

What I am proposing is that the same sense of security enjoyed by stay-at-home women can be achieved through routine, non-sexual interaction, and creature comforts delivered in a manner that allow male slaves/pets/subs to access that sense of being provided for outside of the standard (and glorious) sexualized aspects of power-exchange.

Yes, sexual play feeds the pleasure centers of men's (and women's) brains and endears their bodies and minds to us, their Dommes.
Yes, orgasms are one of the surest ways to bind one being to another.
However, we CANNOT discount the great comfort of food and drink and bodily care, and the incorporation of it into our routines with our submissives.
The way to a man's true comfort and safety, to securing his devotion, enthrallment, and willing abandonment of power, is by encompassing all bodily comfort during play and daily routines.

Let's begin with grooming - the simple act of bathing a pet and of soothing the mind and body through warm water and soap.
How simple.
How innate a desire to give and receive such treatment.
How human.
We are giving our submissives permission to be human, around us:
not their job titles, not their macho-vanilla-world facades - just human;
naked, washed, clean, cleansed, and part of a routine that affords both exposure and security in the same act.

Moving on to eating and drinking: what simpler way could there be to provide?
It's certainly the most basic of needs - the need for water during a long and intense session.
Filling my own mouth with cold water and kissing a blindfolded submissive provides intense relief and total ownership.
I have become life, beyond metaphor and romantic notion, in providing the water necessary to keep my submissive lucid and hydrated while he is in restraints.
In the same manner, feeding small bits of pretzels covered in dark chocolate keeps the blood sugar levels stable if I am putting a sub through his/her paces. There is no room for depletion - and there is no room for weakness, physically.
A session must leave both the Domme and sub invigorated. Subspace imparting stunned bliss and relaxation, Dommespace providing the electric high that can be ridden for hours.

Food, especially full meals, can be incorporated into sessions as a way of gently and unflinchingly showing the submissive that he is no longer in control of any aspect regarding his body.
You, the Dominant, are going to provide, possibly hand feed, and ensure that nourishment of the body happens internally before you provide sensory, emotional, and mental nourishment through a session.

Through this total and holistic approach, ownership is made complete.
Pets are given security above and beyond sexual fulfillment - they are given permission to submit to their Mistress without reservation.

What Do you think of Genital Piercings, for Pets?

"Madame, do you think that piercing a pet is a solid practice to show ownership? Have you ever had a pet pierced? Do you enjoy the way it looks?"

I am thrilled to be answering these questions, as I just had my favorite pet pierced (like this) 24 hours ago.  It's the most beautiful placement of jewelry I think I've ever seen on a male body.

I'm a huge proponent of body modification, and have had the joy of watching a pet be tattooed with my mark. That process paled in comparison to piercing, in terms of sheer power and reaction of the pet.

I believe that piercing is the most elegant and efficient means to constantly remind pets that they are owned, utterly and completely.

With genital piercings especially, the constant reminder typically keeps them constantly aroused. They are on edge, in the most deliciously torturous of ways, and they always have their Mistress on the mind.

I believe that in piercing the cock of a slave you reinforce the fact that it does not belong to that person - it belongs totally and utterly to You, the Madame/Mistress/Domme. Every time he moves, pissess, thinks about touching himself, or becomes hard, he is reminded that he has been modified by his Owner.

The experience is one that can be worked towards, providing a goal for those pets who require constant tangible motivation. (There is nothing wrong with needing such motivation, as it keeps the imagination and body at peak performance in anticipation of the novel and intriguing.)

Requiring a pet to prove his worthiness before being pierced or marked in any way reinforces his inclination to strive for perfection.
Men, as we all know, work best when put in the position to prove themselves.
This type of goal also weeds out the less-than-dedicated pets who cannot give up control or put total faith in an Owner.

The physical moment of piercing is a truly beautiful communion between pet and Owner, especially when it is approached with joy and the relief of a pet who has, all his life, striven to be owned.

Being exposed, being touched by another person in the presence of his Owner, being poked and prodded and CHANGED by someone as his Owner looks on - all of these aspects reinforce the fact that he is not in control.

How safe, secure, and blissful, no?

There is finality and peace following the pain, just like there is peace during the aftercare following a great session.
There is an ever-present addition to the pet's body that reassures him, with every step he takes, that he is never without the will of his Domme.

What Happens in L.A. Needs to Happen Everywhere

When a Dominatrix born and bred in the Midwest takes a cross continental flight from Buffalo to L.A.,
she realizes her potential.

I showed up in L.A. ready to go to a wedding and do a little teaching with a fantastic Domina who is finding her feet in the shaky ground of D/s. I figured it would be a few long naps, an intense double session, a wonderful wedding/reception, and then home again home again, jiggty jig.

Instead, it turned into a journey that focused, primarily, on healing.

I got to the hotel around 9 pm. I was on Century Blvd. I didn't know where to park. I knew, with absolute certainty, that I needed a cigarette.

So, I smoked, I got my luggage, and walked through the barb-wired, barred-windowed, slightly more than sketchy neighborhood that housed the Adventurer.
True story, that was the name of the hotel.

I wasn't even supposed to be there.
I'd tried to make plans to stay with a friend of the bride.
They fell through the same day as I flew out.
So there I was, walking up to the doors and wondering what in thunderfuck I'd do for three nights in a Hostel in LA.

It turns out, I'd been sent on a mission, both by Serendipity and Bacchus. I hear those two have a pretty torrid thing going on. The ripple effect is outstanding.

Without turning this story into the full screenplay it deserves I will summarize:

I flogged men in public with a martini in hand, laughing at the top of my lungs while Van Morrison played dreamily in the background.

I waxed poetic after a touch too much green; I looked fantasy fully in the face.

I  discussed why we all must learn as much as we can before purporting to be Dominant.

I  groomed a man who was lost; I gave him permission to accept care.

I sang to a bride and groom while they sat and fed one another; I incited silliness and joy.