Monday, October 14, 2013

Curvaceous Dommes and the Comfort Effect

"i wanted share with YOU one phenomena about me that i believe i share with many other subs:
The desired ideal FEMALE figure for worshiping and to be controlled by is totally not the common "most sexy" FEMALE type.
In various magazines the "most sexy" female will be a model in her 20's: tall, slender, perfect smile etc... i [find that] not attractive at all.
 For me, a girl in her 20's cannot be a divine GODDESS. the ideal GODDESS will be in her 30-50's, [with a] strong look and feminine figure.

 i wonder, what are the roots for these different views?"

An excellent observation, and also an excellent question.

I agree with this submissive in that, in my experience, it has been a complaint of most IRL clients that their former Dommes were "strippers with whips" or some other phrase that clearly indicated these women were in great shape, but talentless. Heretofore, I had dismissed it as merely a dig at their talent with implements, but now, I'm reconsidering: could it be that the dig is also aimed at their less than curvaceous bodies? Is this dig also ageist?

It makes sense, as we break down the common goal of a session with a Pro: the client is seeking comfort.
He's seeking sensation and security and hopefully some great recovery time in which a bit of holding is involved; an embrace to keep in his memory as he walks out the door.

I have never encountered a man who wanted me to be thinner. That embrace, that presence, that feeling of security - all have been reinforced by my curves. My breasts, legs, and backside are all soft, curvaceous, and inviting. Dominance does not negate the lush nature of a woman's body, nor should those who are Dommes believe that they have to turn into ice cold bitches in every situation. Let's face it, Dommes and subs, there's a HUGE desire for the MommyDommy experience. And there's NOTHING wrong with that.

MommyDommy, for those who have never heard me use it, is a pseudo-derogatory term that most people use when describing what I call a Comfort Domme, Courtesan Domme, or Sensual Domme. These Dommes don't focus on pain or humiliation, but rather on providing an environment in which they take control, but in an inescapably gentle way. They call the shots, but they also keep their subs in a state of total security.  Control is wielded much like an alpha female mother: with total conviction, a solid plan in place, and with a high degree of physical shows of affection.

If the Domme is quite young (early twenties) and very slim (size 4/under), her physical appearance may not signal that same level of comfort and security as an older (30 -50 yr old) Domme can supply just by walking in the room.
Younger women's appearance may signal to the client's brain:  "uh-oh, too young...she hasn't been doing this very long, so how do I know she'll be any good?"
Even the chance of the Domme not knowing what she's doing can put off many potential clients. No one wants to be Topped by a newb.

I believe many submissive men enjoy a woman who is larger, curvier, and older because they want her to be bigger than their need and wiser than their stress: a Goddess who can rearrange sensation and bodily response in order to create a new subspace for her client.


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