Friday, September 27, 2013

Ask-a-Domme : "How can married men see you without cheating?"

"How can men who want Female Domination see you without cheating on their wives?"

This is from a vanilla individual whose line of questioning is all too common. Let's break this down, starting with the "cheating" aspect.

I do not, and have never, provided a service that would involve sexual intercourse, fellatio, cunnilingus, or analingus. I do not kiss clients, and the only time a client's lips would touch any part of me is during foot, shoe, or boot worship.

Now, this is not to say that the only cheating is physical cheating. Mental and emotional cheating are real and valid concerns. It is for this reason that, when I am approached by married male or female clients, I first ask if they have attempted to speak to their spouses.

The point, for me, is to help clients experience and express their Kink to the best and highest degree. I believe that, if a client is married, it is potentially his/her spouse who can be the best Dominant for her/him. Without exception, I offer to train them together, in order to, at least, attempt to facilitate this type of growth between two established partners.

Granted, many married clients want no part of telling their spouses. They are embarrassed, fearful, or otherwise negatively disposed toward the thought of bringing their vanilla partner/spouse into any type of Kink, especially with a ProDomme. (There must be a radical shift away from sexual shame, for every gender in this country, but that is another post.) I have been told, and understand, that, in the minds of many vanilla spouses, a professional Dominant is akin to a prostitute.

While I do not have a problem being mistaken for a sex worker, I do feel the need to point out that (as outlined in a previous paragraph) our jobs vary immensely. IMMENSELY.

To answer, or sum up this answer, I'll say this:

My interaction with submissives is in no way a relationship. When there is an emotional connection, it is one that begins and ends during session times. Sessions are not indicative of romantic feelings, nor do they imply romantic involvement.

All of that being said, the burden of honesty is with the client. If you want to see me, "without cheating," then you need to be honest with your partner about wanting to see me/any ProDomme.

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